Tuesday, June 28, 2005

Close-to-complete Ideology and Religion Sh** List

• Taoism: Sh** happens.
• Confucianism: Confucius say, "Sh** happens."
• Buddhism: If sh** happens, it isn't really sh**.
• Zen Buddhism: Sh** is, and is not.
• Zen Buddhism #2: What is the sound of sh** happening?
• Hinduism: This sh** has happened before.
• Islam: If sh** happens, it is the will of Allah.
• Islam #2: If sh** happens, kill the person responsible.
• Islam #3: If sh** happens, blame Israel.
• Catholicism: If sh** happens, you deserve it.
• Protestantism: Let sh** happen to someone else.
• Presbyterian: This sh** was bound to happen.
• Episcopalian: It's not so bad if sh** happens, as long as you serve the right wine with it.
• Methodist: It's not so bad if sh** happens, as long as you serve grape juice with it.
• Congregationalist: Sh** that happens to one person is just as good as sh** that happens to another.
• Unitarian: Sh** that happens to one person is just as bad as sh** that happens to another.
• Lutheran: If sh** happens, don't talk about it.
• Fundamentalism: If sh** happens, you will go to hell, unless you are born again. (Amen!)
• Fundamentalism #2: If sh** happens to a televangelist, it's okay.
• Fundamentalism #3: Sh** must be born again.
• Judaism: Why does this sh** always happen to us?
• Calvinism: Sh** happens because you don't work.
• Seventh Day Adventism: No sh** shall happen on Saturday.
• Creationism: God made all sh**.
• Secular Humanism: Sh** evolves.
• Christian Science: When sh** happens, don't call a doctor - pray!
• Christian Science #2: Sh** happening is all in your mind.
• Unitarianism: Come let us reason together about this sh**.
• Quakers: Let us not fight over this sh**.
• Utopianism: This sh** does not stink.
• Darwinism: This sh** was once food.
• Capitalism: That's MY sh**.
• Communism: It's everybody's sh**.
• Feminism: Men are sh**.
• Chauvinism: We may be sh**, but you can't live without us...
• Commercialism: Let's package this sh**.
• Impressionism: From a distance, sh** looks like a garden.
• Idolism: Let's bronze this sh**.
• Existentialism: Sh** doesn't happen; sh** IS.
• Existentialism #2: What is sh**, anyway?
• Stoicism: This sh** is good for me.
• Hedonism: There is nothing like a good sh** happening!
• Mormonism: God sent us this sh**.
• Mormonism #2: This sh** is going to happen again.
• Wicca: An it harm none, let sh** happen.
• Scientology: If sh** happens, see "Dianetics", p.157.
• Jehovah's Witnesses: “Knock Knock” Sh** happens.
• Jehovah's Witnesses #2: May we have a moment of your time to show you some of our sh**?
• Jehovah's Witnesses #3: Sh** has been prophesied and is imminent; only the righteous shall survive its happening.
• Moonies: Only really happy sh** happens.
• Hare Krishna: Sh** happens, rama rama.
• Rastafarianism: Let's smoke this sh**!
• Zoroastrianism: Sh** happens half on the time.
• Church of Sub Genius: BoB sh**s.
• Practical: Deal with sh** one day at a time.
• Agnostic: Sh** might have happened; then again, maybe not.
• Agnostic #2: Did someone sh**?
• Agnostic #3: What is this sh**?
• Satanism: SNEPPAH TIHS.
• Atheism: What sh**?
• Atheism #2: I can't believe this sh**!
• Nihilism: No sh**.

Hat Tip to the ever popular B-Cack


At 9:32 AM, Blogger Tyler D. said...


Laugh did I.

At 12:26 PM, Blogger Dr. Phat Tony said...

Maybe I should add
liberalism: This sh** is Karl Roves fault.

At 12:36 PM, Blogger mensabarbie said...

>Karl Roves fault.
Yes, of course (`O`)
These are Sooo funny! Oh, & what about the (pardon my language) UN?

At 12:43 PM, Blogger Dr. Phat Tony said...

that would probably be: sh**, it's the joooos.

At 4:01 PM, Blogger Uber said...

Well now that is simply hilarious...the longer it went the funnier it became. *g*

At 10:50 PM, Anonymous mukrz said...

You forgot Scientology: Sh** will happen to you unless you pay $2000 for this three-hour seminar.


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