Wednesday, June 15, 2005

How Old I’ve Become

So I was just called by classmates from high school. This is unusual because I haven’t spoke with anyone from my high school since graduating, even though I live in the same city. I’ve seen former classmates before but one: couldn’t remember their name, or two: had no interest in talking to them anyway. Oh, sure I’ve been cornered by that one weirdo that remembers everyone’s name and every embarrassing story, but I’ve always countered with “I remember you, weren’t you gay?” and it usually stopped the conversation cold.
All right, so these two classmates first question was, “Do you remember us?” “I…um..sure, I think you were on the dance team right?” Then one of them had the wonderful idea to limit the amount of people I could think about. She said “We’re black.” Now for some of you this might have helped you remember, and maybe made you put a face with a name. Not for me. Not that I think all black people look a like. (I’m not that kind of Alabama resident) It’s just that there were 1100 students at my high school, 1000 black students, 90 white students, and 10 not from either of those two. I could probably name all the white kids, not because I knew them, but because there were only 90. Spotting me at school was easy. See the white kid; pretty good chance it was me.
Let me get back on subject. They wanted to know how I felt about going to a 10-year high school reunion next year. That’s right, next year! It dawned on me right then, that I have gotten old. I know some of you older people are saying “wow you’re still so young” but you probably drive a Buick and think that Eminem can only be offensive if you’re allergic to peanuts, and in that case just stick to the plain. No really the music is starting to get loud and I’m beginning to yell at the neighborhood kids for being stupid. I’m not compassionate any more, and feel that people should stop complaining about what’s fair and get a job. I’m all respectable now, and never take a risk that could wind up costing too much money. I have more responsibility than I’ve ever wanted and there is no end in sight for it. As a matter of fact, it looks like it will continue to be heaped on in the upcoming years. I guess that’s why there are hippies. Instead of growing up and becoming responsible, they just get dirty, smelly, and communist.
Well I guess I would rather be old than a hippie. Ya, screw you hippies, grow up already, and get a job.


At 4:19 AM, Blogger PoP said...

OH MY GOD. You have become me. Ok what did you do with my son. the one who thought i was stupid and didn't know any thing. bring him back.

At 6:16 AM, Blogger The Conservative UAW Guy said...


10 year anniversary?

You sir, are a conservative pup. (I skipped my 20th a couple years ago.)
But that's ok.

Yeah, I have had the same progression (responsibility and caution, not smelliness).

Great piece. You should put it in the next Carnival of Comedy.

Oh yeah. Get a freaking job, you stoopid hippies!

Blog on.

At 6:34 AM, Blogger Dr. Phat Tony said...

I submitted B-Cack Goes Postal this time. I hope it makes it.

At 6:41 AM, Blogger Tyler D. said...

Wow, I can't wait for my ten year reunion in nine years.

At 10:20 AM, Blogger Wyatt Earp said...

You sir, ARE a pup. You probably don't remember parachute pants and A Flock of Seagulls! You poor, depirved child!

There's a great line by Joan Cusack in "Grosse Pointe Blank" where she describes her 10-year high school reunion:

"It was as if everyone had swelled."

At 11:24 AM, Blogger Dr. Phat Tony said...

Maybe not flock of seaguls but I do remember Falco.

At 1:59 PM, Blogger mensabarbie said...

Grabbed a few quotes, Dr.Phat Tony:
"You're never too old to become younger"
~Mae West
Those whom the gods love grow young.
~Oscar Wilde (kinda gay, but ok)
"It takes a long time to become young."
(also Picasso)
"In [my] youth I was smacked around."
~Arnold Schwarzenegger
We have enough youth. How about a fountain of smart?
Time is a great teacher. Unfortunately it kills all its pupils. (Hector Berlioz)

At 4:22 AM, Blogger PoP said...

Nehru jackets and fringed leather.

At 4:27 PM, Blogger Wyatt Earp said...

I'm sorry, did you say "Falco?"

At 11:56 PM, Anonymous The one and only Cack said...

Falco? I think I know that guy, kinda short and stocky..... maybe from Jersey or Washington depending on the mood???

At 12:01 PM, Blogger Dr. Phat Tony said...

Ya, Mo Fo Falco the guy that sang rock me Amedius


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