Thanks to My Dad on Father’s Day
There comes a time every year when most of us take time out of our day to thank our dads for putting up with us for as long as they have. Today is that day and time. I’ve decided to use my blog to thank my dad for a few things in bullet form.
- Thank you dad for not being a liberal hippie democrat and telling mom to abort me, you’ve strengthened the conservative movement just by refraining from killing me.
- Thank you dad for teaching me to shoot a firearm at such a young age. You’ve equipped me with a skill that is quite useful to combat socialists that want to take my wealth and give it to lazy people.
- Thank you dad for making me watch Monty Python’s Holy Grail. I’m now able to use silly quotes and also have seen the "violence inherit in the system" and well never let my self "be repressed".
- Thank you dad for being so handy. It’s unfortunate that I never picked up that quality of being able to fix anything, please for the love of God don’t die until I can afford to hire people to fix things.
- Thank you dad for giving me siblings. Next to them, I can do no wrong.
- Thank you dad for your service to our country. Despite you being a pogue (a non-combat arms soldier), you still get all my army jokes and that’s one more person that understands my silliness.
- Thank you dad for not making a lot of money when you had the chance. I wouldn’t be the person I am today if you would have invested your money into Wal Mart, Apple, Sony, IBM, and all those other companies that went from 2$ a share to $80. Yeah, thanks a lot!
So thank you dad for all that you do and all that I’m sure you will do in the future, I love ya. Oh by the way, the dishwasher is on the fritz can you come by? Also I want to thank FrankJ's dad for knocking up his mom, my day wouldn't be as funny haha (not funny queer) without FrankJ.