Friday, July 22, 2005

History of the Mullet (Part 3)


History of the Mullet (Part 1)

History of the Mullet (Part 2)

One hundred and some odd years later, the Pilgrims landed on Plymouth Rock eager to spread the life and love that only a true mullet can spread (along with countless venereal diseases). Apparently Christopher Columbus had forgotten to mention that the Indians were not very happy about their European visitors, and upon the arrival of the Pilgrims, the Indians were as livid as a pack of redneck amidst warm beer and no koosie cups. Years of conflict followed, and many mullets lost their lives. The massive bloodshed on both parts made the Pilgrims and the Indians realize the foolishness of their fighting. They both possessed a similar lifestyle of living on the edge, and admired one another’s almost identical haircuts. They decided to get along, and had an incredible Kegger… which later became known as the First Thanksgiving.
Although the mullet never disappeared entirely, it’s popularity diminished significantly while the colonies were under British rule. The British were extremely strict, and they did not appreciate the business in front, party in back attitude of the Colonists. This was soon to change. The onset of the Revolutionary War sparked an uprising of the Colonial Mullet. And why wouldn’t it? It is common knowledge that mullets love guns, fighting, and challenging authority. After the Revolutionary War, the Mullet was here to stay, and took many new twists and turns.
So, in actuality, the one haircut thought to be “American” turns out to be Greek, and over 3000 years old! Despite this, America has adopted the mullet as it’s own, and has made more variations on this unique style than any other country in the world. In what other country could there possibly be over 2000 different types of mullets? After all, America is the Land of Freedom and the mullet is more than just a haircut: it’s a lifestyle.

6 Comments:

At 7:12 AM, Blogger The Conservative UAW Guy said...

FIRST!!!
Oh, yeah!!!

 
At 7:14 AM, Blogger The Conservative UAW Guy said...

Mmmmm...keggers.

Great stuff!

 
At 10:02 AM, Blogger mensabarbie said...

Wow.. up until just now, I thought mullet was some sort-of cereal. (*...*)

 
At 1:05 PM, Blogger PoP said...

Sorry, I may have been looking through the wrong lens. I missed why it is called a mullet. I thought a mullet was a navy man or a fish that sucks mud. no offence to our beloved sailors. Please clear this up for me Lil B.

 
At 3:20 PM, Anonymous Lil' B-Cack said...

NOt a problem Pops, I'd be happy to define the mullet for you.

The mullet is a type of haircut. It is relatively short on top, longer at the back (at least to the shoulders), with the ears exposed. The mullet also goes by various nicknames, including Ape Drape, Camaro Cut, Shlong (Short-Long), Mudflap, Hockey Hair, ten-ninety, Tennessee Tophat,Kentucky Waterfall and Neck Warmer. The popular phrase "Business in the front, party in the back" describes the look of the mullet. There are over 2,000 different types of mullets including, the Texas Tailgate, Loch Ness Mullet, Tweeker Mullet, The Mullestor, etc., and as you can see from my paper, the mullet has a very rich history.

 
At 10:35 PM, Anonymous mukrz said...

for more samples than you have seen since your 1983 class reunion look at www.mulletsgalore.com

 

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