Sunday, July 17, 2005

I Have Some Questions….

There are a few questions that occupy my mind on occasion that I have yet to come to satisfactory answers. I figured that since most of the people that read my blog are smarter than me, I would ask you to see if you could give me a straight answer. So, here are some queries in bullet form.

  • How come you have to be bald, or have a mullet to be a bounty hunter?
  • How come my readers think I’m funny, but my wife thinks I’m silly?
  • Why do people have $5000 rims on a $2000 car?
  • How come the Canadian that visited my home said that the American press was slanted towards Bush?
  • Why can’t liberals tell the difference between "freedom fighters" and terrorists?
  • Why are people still voting for Democrats?
  • How come Evil Glenn and Mrs. Malkin never link me?
  • Why are people reading my articles but not commenting? (I can see from the sight meter that you’re reading. You can’t average over 2 min for a visit and people not read your work.)
  • Where are my shoes? I just saw them a second ago.
  • Why do I like this song more every time I hear it?
  • How is it I’m still a rodent?
  • How often is it appropriate to post about poo?

Alright, I’m depending on you, the reader, to give me closure on some of these pressing conundrums. Leave a comment all you silent masses (all 12 of you).


At 12:01 PM, Blogger The Conservative UAW Guy said...

In answer to some of your questions:

Bounty hunter question - It's Federal law.

$5000 rims on $2k car - Because they're gay.

I comment.

I would seek psychiatric help regarding the frog song.

The bright side is, rodents are cute (some of them).

You rock, Doc!
What happened to your picture blog?

At 12:09 PM, Blogger Dr. Phat Tony said...

It's still there holding pictures. I guess I'll make it public again.

At 12:30 PM, Blogger GunnNutt said...

Why did you use bullets instead of numbers? I respond better to numbers.

Why can't libs tell the diff between freedom fighters and terrorists? This week's Precision Guided assignment may answer that question.

At 12:46 PM, Blogger Dr. Phat Tony said...

Bullets kill terrorists.

At 1:04 PM, Blogger Insolublog said...

Low maintainence.

Three Stooges phenomenon.

The $2000 car needs replacement every 3 months, because the 1500W Bass rap causes all the fasteners to shake out.

Because the Canadian press is slanted toward Karl Marx.

Same reason liberals can't tell the difference between Al Sharpton and a candidate for president.

Because it feels so good when they stop.

Penis envy.

Penis envy.

I don't know about both, but you can probably find one in Rosie's backside.

I wan't to know what his large left pupil says about his right brain.

At least your an Adorable rodent unlike this one.

About 2 to 3 hours after digesting a post about steak and beer.

At 2:21 PM, Blogger mensabarbie said...

Well, I got all of them wrong, except for one: Your shoes are on your head. (oh, that's sunglasses)
"sorry" (*,,,*)

At 4:04 PM, Blogger Tyler D. said...

1) Bounty Hunters are Crazy, be a repo man.

2) I dunno?

3) No, $5000 rims on a $500 car.

4) Because he/she is Canadian.

5) That would mean were winning.

6) Stupid.

7) They won't link to me either.

8) I average 6 min and one or two comments a day.

9) On your feet.

10) That song outsold coldplay for six weeks strait.

11) TTLB is inaccurate. Basil and a few other large blogs have linked to me and it doesn’t show up?


At 5:14 PM, Anonymous phat tonys wife said...

i dont think he is silly , i think he just like crazy staf , defrant than me ......!!!! ( ~.~ )

At 8:18 PM, Blogger Damian G. said...

*You don't. Samus Aran from the "Metroid" games is a woman with long, flowing, golden locks and Boba Fett from "Star Wars" had curly, black hair.

*Because we don't have to live with you.

*'Cuz it's all 'bout da blang, Dawg.

*After seeing their news, I would say the exact same thing.

*Because they secretly support the terrorists (didn't your mother teach you ANYTHING???).

*Massive blunt head truama during infancy (may be John Edwards could sue somebody).

*Because they're Puppy Blenders (Filipinos have extremely varied diets).

*For the same reason(s) they won't use PayPal or Google Ads.

*Don't know. Don't care.

*Because you're either gay or insane (NOTE: You can not be the former without being the latter; think about it).

*Lack of gratuitous nudity and/or swearing.


At 8:11 AM, Blogger Dr. Phat Tony said...

I think It's time to start on my poo post.

At 8:27 AM, Anonymous Larry Morin said...

Those mullet idiots aren't real bounty hunters, simply rednecks with a bad haircut.

Your wife is probably right. She usually is.

$5G rims? They're stolen.

No comment on anything political. It makes me relapse. :D

You don't like the song. Just looking at naked frog penis.

Your wife told The Bear that you were timid as a mouse.

Obviously anytime most of your posts are already crappy. :D

At 10:21 AM, Blogger a4g said...

- It confuses their prey, giving the bounty hunters a few extra seconds to act.

- Because if wives let our egos get out of control, we'd try to squeeze the asses of complete strangers.

- Because they are stolen.

- Sorry, I don't answer questions about Canadians due to a court order.

- Terrorists? Liberals can't even tell the difference between sleeping with a woman and sleeping with a man. Give 'em a break, they have problems.

- In a world where less than 100 people a day visit Dr. Phat Tony-- I'm surprised we Repubs get as many votes as we do.

- Your name of 'Phat' is too offensive for the big blogs. You should change your name to Dr. Just-The-Weight- I-Want-To-Be Tony.

- I usually comment, but I set the text color to 'background'.

- Your shoes are right there, next to spacemonkey's sunglasses.

- Because there's something in the melody that reminds you of Freebird.

- Your oversized front teeth should be a tip-off.

- There's never a bad time to post about poo-- or nanotechnology.

At 1:00 PM, Blogger Wyatt Earp said...

Damian - YOU SUCK! You took my Boba Fett answer!!!

2. You're readers know better. Just kidding!

3. It's the law in Puerto Rico.

4. Because that person is an idiot.

5. Because they spend their days stuffing top secret documents down their pants.

6. Because they're idiots.

7. Because Mrs. Malkin is infatuated with cops, not soldiers :)

8. I comment regularly, thank you very much!

9. They're in your top drawer next to your Spider-man under-oos.

10. Becuase you were given PCP without your knowledge.

11. Hell, who isn't?

12. Once every half moon.

At 1:35 PM, Blogger banjodude said...

The video is catchy (Crazy Frog). Couldn't open the rodent.


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