Minority Report (7/6/2005)
I’m sick today so I’m relinquishing my blog to the ever popular Al’ Shabaz X and Gangsta Petey for another Minority Report.
Gangsta Petey: Back in da hizzy, gonna make thangs krunk up in here for yo hump day.
Al’ Shabaz X: Translation for the more educated: We’re here again to show the bigotry against the black man on this white devil’s blog.
Gangsta Petey: Whateva yo. To start off, dey having a G8 party over dere in Ireland, and the strange thang is, I can’t seem to find my invite. Everybody knows what a true "G" I am. Den dey got dese dirty white folks messing with the 5"O" and sh**. You know dat sh** wouldn’t play over here yo, ‘cause our ‘pol ‘pol would peel caps and drop bodies.
Al’ Shabaz X: You’re so ignorant. The real story is that the have a bunch of white devils trying to decide how to save Africa. Africans have been living in glory since dirty white people have been living in caves. More racist news; Phillip Grant, a homeless black man, was arrested for stabbing a blonde haired, blue eyed, white woman to death for being white. They plan to charge him with a hate crime to increase the length of the sentence. How racist is that charging a black man with a hate crime? Of course he hates white people. The black man has been oppressed and lives in poverty because of the racist white government’s economic model. I say that it isn’t hate, its justified rage.
Gangsta Petey: I say, what a waste of a perfectly good white woman. Hey all you white woman out there looking for some protection, just holla and Gangsta Petey will be right dere. I’m a true pimp and won’t let no john smack you around, ya feel me? Back to the news. The prez is set to appoint one of dose judge types to the big court. My peeps in DC say it’s gonna be a Mexican.
Al’ Shabaz X: That would be another racist move by the white devil President. If there were anyone more racist than the white man, it would be the Mexican. After El’ Presedente Fox said that Mexicans do the jobs that black people don’t want and then released stamps portraying a black face racist stereotype, he has made my white devil list. I say we release our own stamps with Speedy Gonzales, a whole bunch of Mexicans at the home depot, or a guy in a sombrero selling oranges on the highway on them. That’ll show those Mexicans.
Gangsta Petey: Bwuhhahahaha. You seen dose stamps yo? Dat sh** right dere is some funny sh**.
Al’ Shabaz X: You know Petey, you’re going to die young if you don’t change your ways.
Gangsta Petey: Ya know Francis (haha ya didn’t think I knew ya real name huh?) you gonna die without ever getting layed if you don’t drop that militant sh**. That’s it for this news sh**. Time to roll out. Peace!