Friday, July 29, 2005

PLATO for Terrorists

P.L.A.T.O (Pork Laden Anti-Terrorist Ordnance) is in its final testing phase. This weapon, of incredible terrorist dispatching ability, should be available to the armed forces within the next few months. Developed and made in the birth place of the Saturn V and Sean Hannity, Huntsville AL, the project has boosted the local economy. Engineer Jim, the project leader, has said “We don’t particularly like terrorist ‘round here, and all though we have to give up some delicious pork, it’s a sacrifice we’re willin’ to make” He also said, “It’ll send those Islamofacists to eternal damnation, and smell like the 4th of July at the same time.” With the two models, one for long distance delivery, and one for short range, the terrorists will being running back to the caves.

13 Comments:

At 7:27 AM, Blogger Cove Rebel said...

Why do I keep hearing a commercial for Boar's Head in my mind?

 
At 7:31 AM, Blogger Dr. Phat Tony said...

I'ts a Karl Rove conspiracy. Probably hidden messages or mind control.

 
At 8:08 AM, Blogger Insolublog said...

Could you comment on what Jim is doing 'in the final testing phase' to verify the PLATO's effectiveness? We understand there are issues of national security at stake here.

 
At 8:11 AM, Blogger Dr. Phat Tony said...

Since the news of the near completion there has been a fatwa issued against Engineer Jim. It's already causing a stir within the terrorists organization and it hasn't even been battle tested yet.

 
At 9:27 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

IS THAT T-10C I SEE I THE BACKGROUND? I WAS A RIGGER IN THE 82ND

 
At 9:34 AM, Blogger a4g said...

I like the happy look on the boar's face.

It's like he knows what he's about to do.

 
At 9:40 AM, Blogger Dr. Phat Tony said...

Yes it is a t-10 my unit normally jumped mc1-1c though.

 
At 9:55 AM, Anonymous Fitch said...

Genius! Dr. P!

 
At 10:24 AM, Anonymous MEGABRAD said...

Dr. Phat T.

Nuclear warheads are "boosted" with Tritium to increase their yeild. Tritium can easily be found on the glowing hands of watch dials. Why not strap a Timex onto the pigs hoof?? A cheap and effective modification to boost the electro-porktronic flux!

 
At 5:59 PM, Blogger PoP said...

testing is being conducted in Gitmo at this very moment. Those who don't go directly to hell will be instantly converted to Lutherans, and will continue the pot luck dinner tradition.

 
At 8:11 PM, Blogger Mark said...

When Osama bin Laden died, he was met at the pearly gates
by George Washington, who slapped him across the face and
yelled: "How dare you try to destroy the nation I helped conceive!"

Patrick Henry approached, punched him in the nose and
shouted: "You wanted to end our liberties but you failed."

James Madison followed, kicked him in the groin and said:
"This is why I allowed our government to provide for the
common defense!"

Thomas Jefferson was next, beat Osama with a long cane
and snarled: "It was evil men like you who inspired me to
write the Declaration of Independence."

The beatings and thrashing continued as George Mason,
James Monroe and 64 other early Americans unleashed
their anger on the terrorist leader.

As Osama lay bleeding and in pain, an angel appeared.
Bin Laden wept and said: "This is not what you promised me."

The angel replied: "I told you there would be 70 Virginians waiting for
you in Heaven. What did you think I said?

 
At 9:57 PM, Anonymous MEGABRAD said...

That's awesome man!

 
At 12:44 AM, Blogger mlwhitt said...

Darn you. You nearly made me wet my pants I was laughing so hard.

 

Post a Comment

<< Home