Tuesday, July 26, 2005

UT Helps Protect Against Ali


The University of Tennessee, with the cooperation of the UAW, has released a new product "guaranteed not to be targeted by suicide bombers." The all new Anti-Terrorist Pick-Up Truck, is what the soldiers of the future will be driving when occupying a country where militant Islamics like to sacrifice their lives to hurt our soldiers. Notice the reactive pork armor protecting the vehicle from sex starved terrorists. The reactive pork armor works by expelling small pieces of flying pig, that will cover the remains of the suicide bomber, keeping them from meeting those 72 virgins. Department of Defense officials are pleased with the development of such and effective defense and are asking if the university has any ideas about pork projectiles for weapons. The Defense Department officials said, "We would really like to develop a hand held weapon that will, not only kill terrorists, but also send them straight to hell in the eyes of their wacko accomplices." And also said, "We are really pleased with this armor. It may not stop suicide bombers right away, but when news spreads that those little bastards are going straight to Muslim hell, they’ll think twice about blowing up a soldier's vehicle".

Hat Tip to Tennessee Extreme Hunting Adventures for the pic.



Update: P.L.A.T.O. (Pork Laden Anti-Terrorist Ordnance) is near completion.

Update: You bet I'm trying to cash in.

40 Comments:

At 6:28 PM, Anonymous mensaB said...

Hey, looks like you could almost release a few mean deadly wild bores from the back of the truck container. (Looks like I'm pro-pig life, but hey, get them quick enough, it will just make bigger terrorist exterminators.) (*...*)

 
At 6:49 PM, Blogger Kate said...

I think my brother and his platoon would have appreciated having that defense barrier n Iraq with them.

I wonder...

Now that he's home AND lives in Tennessee, I'll have to see if he can give me any inside information.

I'll be down there in a month for his wedding. I'll let you know what I find out. =)

 
At 8:41 PM, Blogger Insolublog said...

So when an ATPUT arrives safely at it's destination, does it double duty as MRE relief? Nothing like pulled pork sandwiches and slow cooked ribs. Where's Bacon and Molly? Strap 'em to that Chevy.

 
At 9:23 PM, Blogger Damian G. said...

As CUG would say:

MMMMM... BACON!

 
At 5:59 AM, Anonymous B-Cack said...

HELL YEAH!!!!! Can I get a few to strap on my Apache?

 
At 6:03 AM, Blogger Dr. Phat Tony said...

Do you think that an extra 1200lb of hairy pork might mess with the aerodynamics of your aircraft?

 
At 9:11 AM, Anonymous steve said...

I think the soldiers could just roast that baby in a pit and the terrorist would just lay down there weapons for a taste. What with the smell of roasting pork wafting through the air. Nobody could resist that kind of BBQ. Or better yet use it as a decoy, when the terrorist come to inspect, SHOOT THEIR BUTTS!!

 
At 10:10 AM, Blogger a4g said...

I think the wished-for hand-held weapon is available in the #1 Breakfast Meal at McDonalds.

High pork content and great artery-clogging stopping-power in one easy-to-eat package. Safe for Americans advanced digesting power; deadly for weak Europeans and terrorists.

 
At 11:29 AM, Blogger Uber said...

I've read that due to fudged up translational issues of Islamic texts, that is 72 raisins these bozos have been promised and not 72 virgins after all. I kid you not, Doc.

Effin...raisins.

 
At 11:30 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Guys,

That is my truck in the pic....I can help you get all the armor you guys will need...All it would cost is $600/ pop. :D

My websote is www.tnboar.com

t

 
At 11:56 AM, Blogger bob said...

Soo-ey!
BTW, Dr. P.T., the link is up from the homestead.

 
At 1:02 PM, Blogger PoP said...

Hey anonymous, I'm worth more than $600. $750 and no less. but my son would sell me for less. no offence taken

 
At 2:24 PM, Blogger fmragtops said...

Dr. PT, Why can't we turn LIVE pigs with suicide vests on loose into the camel molestors dens. We could have SOOOO-EEEEE cide bombers that send you straight to hell. Raise the islamonazi's ante a little. And I apologize for that sorry @$$ed pig call joke.

 
At 2:30 PM, Blogger Cove Rebel said...

I like the idea of a potato gun loaded with pork BBQ. Or a blowdart gun that shoots link pork sausage.

 
At 3:24 PM, Blogger The Conservative UAW Guy said...

How come the fine, upstanding UAW guys always take a beating?

Shouldn't it be a pig-up truck?
Heh. Straight to hell...

Doc.
You rock.

(Yeah, it rhymes.)

 
At 5:43 PM, Blogger Insolublog said...

Dr. You have me thinking about the possibility of other porcine defense technologies. How about a new 600lb MOAB (MOlly And Bacon) bomb. We could GPS guide it right to the center of the next Al Qaeda Mosquerade.

 
At 8:03 PM, Anonymous Kira said...

Thats a big pig. We could also do what the Israelis did to their buses in the occupied territories - rub them down with pig fat. Sorta like a wax job against the wack jobs

 
At 10:50 PM, Anonymous mukrz said...

FYI: The word "terrorist" is on the way out. The new phrase is "radical extremist". I love living in a time of tumultuous political vocabulary adjustment.

 
At 4:49 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Anyone killed in a terrorist action could be buried wrapped in a pigskin. Tell them in advance that this will happen. I believe the Israelis have used this tactic.

 
At 5:52 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

LETS HIT 'EM WITH SOME HAM GRENADES, HOCK MORTARS, AND RUN OVER THEM IN OUR HAMVEE'S WHILE WE BLOW EM UP WITH BAR-BQ BOMBERS(formerly b-52),AND A-10 WARTHOGS,ALSO USE THE CHITTERLING GATLING GUNS,AND DONT FORGET THE BLT..(BLOWUP LOTS OF TERRORISTS)IF NEEDED, CAN USE THE BOSTON BUTT BLOCKBUSTER TO DESTROY BUNKERS AND SUCH...

 
At 5:54 AM, Blogger BIGFOOT 350 said...

LET'S DECLARE A FULL BLOWN JOWL JIHAD!!!!

 
At 5:55 AM, Blogger BIGFOOT 350 said...

HAVE WE TAKEN PORK CHOP HILL YET??

 
At 5:55 AM, Blogger Dr. Phat Tony said...

Welcome Neal Boortz and Carnival of Comedy fans, hope you decide to come back and visit once and a while.

 
At 5:56 AM, Blogger BIGFOOT 350 said...

INSTEAD OF SIDEWINDER MISSLES ON F-16'S, CHANGE 'EM TO SIDE MEAT HEAT SEEKERS.........

 
At 5:58 AM, Blogger BIGFOOT 350 said...

SPAM GRENADES!!

 
At 5:58 AM, Blogger BIGFOOT 350 said...

BACON BAYONETS...

 
At 5:59 AM, Blogger BIGFOOT 350 said...

PORK RIND ANTI- PERSONNEL MINES...

 
At 6:06 AM, Blogger BIGFOOT 350 said...

IS THIS THE BOAR WAR ? (boer war...reference) for those of you who flunked world history)

 
At 6:43 AM, Blogger Duke of DeLand said...

One of those forensic shows the other night featured a frozen-beef bullet......

How about notifying the terrorists we'll be using frozen pig instead of metal for our bullets? That should bring a lil terror to their eyes!

Duke

 
At 6:54 AM, Anonymous Shawn said...

Makes me proud to be a UT alum. Oh, and that SOOO-EEEE cide bomber comment almost made me spit out my drink due to laughter.

 
At 7:33 AM, Blogger spacemonkey said...

Sweet! Dude!

 
At 7:48 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I heard Bo Dietel on the Imus show last week talking about getting bullets dipped in pigs blood for the troops to use. BBQ thier asses!

 
At 9:06 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I need to find that little yellow triangle to place in my car window...you know the one that says
"Bacon on Boared"

 
At 9:11 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Shouldn't that be "Boar'd"?

or is it a now a verb "to boar a terrorist/religious extremeist"

 
At 9:27 AM, Blogger Right Winger said...

LMAO!!!

Any dealships in your area I can come & visit?


~

 
At 10:23 AM, Anonymous thebeanvine said...

Thinking along tactical levels we can deny the use of an area of land to the terrorists simply by carpet bombing the area in question with fried pork-rind chips, probably have to take them out of the bag first. Biodegradable unlike agent orange. This would be agent "L"...for lard.

 
At 8:46 PM, Blogger Martini Cat said...

I am so proud to be from the South right now! That really rocks! I'm currently laughing so hard I can't come up with any sort of pig-comment. I'm gonna email a link to this to everyone I know! My husband who went to Iraq last year (Navy) will get a real kick out of this one!

 
At 8:54 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

How about putting big meat grinders in those Apaches then load up to max gross with carcassas and fly over the countryside grinding pork and spewing it out. The rotor dowmwash should spread it fear and wide. Doug

 
At 8:21 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Lets send all of the ARABs in this country and the Chinese back where they cam from we have to protect our own people first if they want to die for Alla well lets give them a hand. let other countrys not say that we want give them an even break.Kill them all and let God sort them out Semper Fi.

 
At 8:37 AM, Anonymous Nightstick29 said...

Name the pig "Mohammad",that'll really get their goat.

 

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