Monday, July 11, 2005

What Kind of Heat Does a Wookie Pack?


I truly wish that I could make the claim of having thought of this topic myself, but I did not. I only know that I have spent many hours in debate about this subject. So, the eternal question is: What kind of piece does a wookie have? Is it like that of a human, or does it more closely resemble that of a dog? Both sides can be argued with great passion, and I find myself stuck somewhere in the middle. On one hand, he walks upright, and has the extended use of his arms just like a man... so one would tend to think that he would lean that way. On the other hand, he is covered in thick, nasty a$$ matted hair just like Rover, so maybe his meat whistle is covered in a sheath... and if so, would it look just like red lipstick? I truly don't know... and I throw this question out there to anyone who stumbles across this blog. If you have any feedback or insights, please drop a line in the comment section. I will be sure to give the information careful consideration as I build the evidence up in this case.

B-Cack

17 Comments:

At 9:57 AM, Blogger a4g said...

On the subject of Wookies, I've always sided with the cloaca camp.

A purse-like opening, housing all the excrementary and reproductive functions, would be the most conducive to a PG rating.

As additional evidence, I offer that this would represent the 'best guess' that the teenage George Lucas would have of human anatomy.

 
At 9:59 AM, Blogger Dr. Phat Tony said...

I've always thought that Chewbacca was a tall, hairy, hippy chick. Which is why you can't understand her cause that comes out of Chewbacca's mouth is hate filled nonsense.

 
At 10:02 AM, Blogger banjodude said...

Dude, I have no clue, therefore no insight. Maybe like a cross between a dog's and monkey's, I dunno.

 
At 10:11 AM, Blogger Wyatt Earp said...

Ya know, when I first read the title, I said, "Oh, he carries a crossbow blaster." Then, I read further.

You are a sick, sick individual.

BTW, I heard they are hung like Jawas.

 
At 11:28 AM, Blogger PoP said...

Only because I respect your service to our country will I defer my comment. sounds like wookie envy. Try asking Peter Mayhew the individual who played Chubaca. peterMayhew.com. I personaly don't want to know

 
At 12:23 PM, Anonymous Stretch said...

For some reason this sounds too much like the movie "Mallrats" where Jason Lee's character is obsessed with superhero genitalia.

Oh well...maybe it's just me.

 
At 12:33 PM, Blogger Dr. Phat Tony said...

Let me clarify that this is a B-Cack original and that my mind is far from being this ill.

 
At 12:59 PM, Blogger Tyler D. said...

EWWWWWWWWWWWWW!

 
At 3:34 PM, Anonymous Larry Morin said...

B-Cack secretly hopes it's monkey like in appearance. We all know about his affection for monkey's. :D

 
At 6:00 PM, Blogger The Conservative UAW Guy said...

Uhhhhh...never thought about it till now. I think I agree with tyler d.

 
At 7:51 PM, Anonymous B-cack said...

Never seen mallrats..

 
At 9:40 PM, Blogger Damian G. said...

I have to cry now.

 
At 8:39 PM, Anonymous Lil B-Cack said...

B-Cack,
I dont' think I have ever been prouder to call you my big brother. You have a way with words that is touched by no other.
~~ Love, Lil B-Cack
PS- The Wookie is definately packing the doggy schlong.

 
At 6:04 AM, Blogger Dr. Phat Tony said...

So I see the mental illness is hereditary.

 
At 2:49 PM, Anonymous Lil B-Cack said...

You mean mental Brilliance Phat Tony. And I have a few of my own articles that are just as insightful as my big brother's, so just say the word and you can post them if you want.
~~ Lil' B-Cack Out!

 
At 3:12 PM, Blogger Dr. Phat Tony said...

email em to me

 
At 3:57 PM, Blogger Insolublog said...

With a name like 'Wookie', there's only one kind of heat 'he' could be packing.

 

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