Thursday, August 11, 2005

Henry Doesn't Get It

It turns out that the spam trick I played didn’t work out the way I wanted it to, because Henry wrote me back and told me no one answered at the number I gave him. (The number was from another spam telling me I won the Netherlands lottery) What’s worse is that his email this time is really creepy and gay. If you don’t want to read the whole letter I’ll just give you some random homo quotes from Henry’s email to me.

“Dear One, I want you to see me as your little one and assist me sincerely as I beleive (sic) that God has touched you to assist me.” And “...I can only have access to the funds until when I am 27 years old, right now, I am just 21, so I want you to act as my guardian and assist me.”

Well I’m not into having any guy being my “little one” and definitely not going to take on the task of being a guardian for a 21 year old. I’m only 27 for Pete’s sake. It seems that Henry had a birthday, since he was only 20 in the first email he sent me. I guess it’s time to give the brush off to Henry. Time to let him know about the Rejection Hotline. What a great service this is. You give out this number to people you don’t have the heart to reject out right and a recorded message tells them to piss off, of course with more style and humor. So I write back to Henry,

I see you’ve had a birthday since the last email I received from you. Happy Birthday. In the future please do not refer to yourself as my “little one”. It’s too gay for a guy that’s 21. I’m still going to help you out though. I’m not sure why the last number I gave you didn’t work, but I’m going back to Atlanta tomorrow and you will be able to reach me on my home phone then. Sorry I won’t be able to call you at the number you gave me, but you will be able to reach me at 770-908-7383. You will be able to reach me after 9 pm Eastern standard time. Hope that you will call me.
Fred Owens.


At 5:53 AM, Blogger Wyatt Earp said...

"God has touched you?"

Sue! Sue! Jeebus has very deep pockets!!!

Oh, and FIRST!

At 5:56 AM, Blogger Dr. Phat Tony said...

He gave unto ceasar what is ceasar's, Which means he got taxed into poverty.

At 6:48 AM, Blogger fmragtops said...

Whooo! What a wackaloon! You should be expecting a boiled bunny any day now. I can just hear this guy, looking down a well saying, "Dr. Phat Tony puts the lotion on it's skin, or else it gets the hose again."

At 7:35 AM, Blogger a4g said...

This post is makin' me horny.

At 9:39 AM, Anonymous Fitch said...

a4g. You just ain't right. Doc. Hysterical as usual.

At 10:48 AM, Blogger Uber said...

hehe uh oh, ya have some competition today Doc, comments are hilarious too.

I'm totally going to use that rejection hotline, thanks. *g*

At 11:48 AM, Blogger GunnNutt said...

Maybe you should give the "little one" a4g's number. I'm creeped out, too.

At 1:43 PM, Blogger Kate said...

Classic stuff!!


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