Sunday, August 07, 2005

My First Hate Mail

I’m as happy as a little girl. Someone has decided to take the time to write me a hate mail. It’s not the best hate mail I’ve ever seen written to a blogger, but give me time and maybe someone of real literary talent will write me one. I have to start small, just like my hit meter. I left all the original punctuation in mostly because it was the funniest part and the cursing has been edited. My reply is in Italics. Enjoy my first hate mail.

Dear Wasabimon,

First and foremost, I would like to thank you for taking the time to read my work and then send me an email with your thoughts. I’m always trying to improve my site and constructive criticism is always welcome. Unfortunately nothing you said was constructive but I thank you for taking the time anyway.

bush ..the father of the american holocaust....

When you say Holocaust, you mean killing a whole bunch of Joooos? Maybe you mean killing Muslim extremists that kill innocent people. You’re right that is quite evil.

may he rot in hell with reagan.......

My wife was just telling me how evil Reagan was. She grew up in occupied, communist Poland. She said that standing in line for 6 hours to get sugar was the best thing ever, and ever since Reagan stood up to communism, and made it collapse, people just haven’t had a chance to enjoy that activity.

get your head out of you’re a$$ tony.....bush is wrong on everything........... even as the governor.............

If lower taxes and dead terrorists are wrong, I hope I’m never right. As far as my head being in my a$$ there is only one person who’s a big enough a$$ hole for me to do that. It’s the one who wrote this email to me.

we keep f**king with everyone and now we are paying for the sins of reagan,bush,and all the corporations who have raped and pillaged the mid east.........

You’re right. We are the worse people ever for buying their oil. How horrible of us to supply them a customer for their only export. Which corporation is it that is raping the Mid-East, it sounds like you have a great stock tip and aren’t sharing.

remember...bushs god has horns and a tail and a pitch fork.................. Wasabimon

Are you a theologian? Reverend Wasabimon, are you calling the Christian God the devil? I would have used a term that was at least funny like, BeelzeBush. Now that would have been creative. Tell Me Reverend Wasabimon, is it normal for you to add so much punctuation in a letter? Is using that much punctuation a sign of emotional instability? Did you just cut and paste comments off KOS or Democratic Underground to write this email? Which god should I worship, oh honorable Reverend Wasabimon? Please show me the error of my belief structure. I eagerly wait your reply,

Dr. Phat Tony

21 Comments:

At 10:21 AM, Blogger Citizen Grim said...

hahaha... nice :)

I havent gotten any hate mail at all ever :(

Maybe I need to write more provocative things.

 
At 10:22 AM, Blogger Dr. Phat Tony said...

Like anything I write is provocative.

 
At 10:51 AM, Anonymous MEGABRAD said...

Hmm,

All those hit's and only ONE hate letter???? I think there's only one explanation. THEY haven't found you yet!

 
At 10:58 AM, Blogger Dr. Phat Tony said...

I know what you mean. Everyone that knows me hates me.

 
At 12:50 PM, Blogger Insolublog said...

Are you sure his name wasn't Wahabi-man?
Japanese horse radish is not what comes to mind when I see this drivel. However his rhetoric does align quite well with a certain puritanical Saudi version of Islam.

 
At 12:55 PM, Blogger GunnNutt said...

I think maybe he was "sleep trolling" and kept konking out on the keyboard.

 
At 1:21 PM, Blogger The Conservative UAW Guy said...

*sigh*
Our little Doc is all growed-up now...

 
At 2:12 PM, Blogger Tyler D. said...

I love Hate mail. To bad I haven't gotten any.

 
At 4:02 PM, Blogger Wyatt Earp said...

Tyler - Oh, it won't be long :)

Doc - Congratulations! We're all so happy for you. Sounds like Al Franken has a new pen name.

 
At 4:12 PM, Anonymous B-Cack said...

Dude, that is so funny! I find it ironic that you need a license to operate a motor vehicle or own a gun, yet people like this don't require one to procreate. I guess someone should just go ahead and tell him about the great conservative conspiracy to overthrow the world.... or something. (Come on, you all know that some college "edu-mucated" hippie bitch would love him!)

 
At 4:34 PM, Blogger Dr. Phat Tony said...

Hey weren't you suppose to call me?

 
At 5:39 PM, Anonymous B-Cack said...

Uhhh, yeah I think so.. I am kind of studying now. I have a short week this go around. I might even give you the vaunted drunk call on thursday night.... that is always fun. I was thinking about something that you can put on this site, but now I forgot what it was... damn that age shit!

 
At 5:44 PM, Blogger Pebble said...

Man if I ever get any hate mail and sending it to you, so you can think up an answer for me. I'm no good at it...
Kinda like Meg Ryan in "You've Got Maile"

You go guy!

Pebble

 
At 6:11 PM, Blogger a4g said...

Oh, man. I've been "spending time with the family" today instead of doing the important work of blogging. Look at all the fun I've missed.

Congrats, Doctor.

 
At 6:59 PM, Blogger Patriot Xeno said...

nice work.

 
At 7:40 PM, Blogger Kate said...

I keep waiting for my first piece of hate mail with all the nonsense I spew. When I finally do get one, I'm going to print it out and frame it!

Congrats, Doc. Way to piss people off! :)

 
At 4:58 AM, Blogger PoP said...

More mail, more mail. It will make you famous. I'm so proud of you son.

 
At 5:15 AM, Blogger The Conservative UAW Guy said...

You have arrived, Doc!

 
At 5:30 AM, Blogger banjodude said...

Ha! Good for you, doc! Knew u been waiting on some.

 
At 9:37 AM, Anonymous Fitch said...

Congrats Doc! I'm gonna write something inflamatory on my blog to try for some myself. I plan to anger both sides.

 
At 8:33 PM, Anonymous mukrz said...

when you stop hearing ideas that run counter to your own you no longer live in a free society.

 

Post a Comment

<< Home