Wednesday, August 17, 2005

Un-Hate Mail (Spam)


So, I received this short email and at first didn’t know how to respond. After thinking about it a while, I decided I couldn’t let some bald hippy tell me how to be happy.

Neateye wrote,

“Call out Gouranga be happy!!!
Gouranga Gouranga Gouranga ....
That which brings the highest happiness!!”

Of course I had to write back. So I wrote,

Dear Neateye,

I’m glad you decided to take the time to read my blog. I didn’t know Hare Krishnas still existed. Tell me, does saying Gouranga make you happy? I tried saying Gouranga yesterday and it just made me feel foolish. Are you the type of Hare Krishna that takes LSD, or the kind that sells flowers at airports? I didn’t know Hare Krishnas had internet access. Be safe Neateye, and make sure you wear protection when you Gouranga.

On second thought Neateye, I just hope your spamming self gets caught up in a thresher while you call out Gouranga. Ya, damn hippy.

Sincerely,
Dr. Phat Tony

13 Comments:

At 6:21 AM, Anonymous B-Cack said...

Take a shower before you try to sell me flowers at the Airport you freaking hippie... I don't want my olfactory nerves to be offended when I tell you to go fuck yourself!

 
At 7:04 AM, Blogger Insolublog said...

How many crack rocks do you think he can hold in that pineapple drum?

 
At 8:41 AM, Blogger a4g said...

Gouranga!

Strangely enough, I was checking on the submissions for the Carnival of Comedy this week, and it turns out Neateye tried to enter with the same message.

Admittedly, not all that funny, but not the worst post, either.

What do you think, should I include him?

 
At 8:54 AM, Blogger Dr. Phat Tony said...

Being a Hare Krishna is funny, but sending out silly emails not so funny. I don't know maybe we should have a vote.

 
At 9:36 AM, Anonymous Fitch said...

I read some of the wikipedia entry. Perhaps neateye is simply a fan of Grand Theft Auto. Then again, maybe he's just an a**hat.

 
At 9:42 AM, Blogger Uber said...

I vote for embellishing his entry for ultimate funny before inclusion. ;)

 
At 10:20 AM, Blogger DigEm said...

Dude! Get 'em. Cool response.

 
At 11:24 AM, Blogger Zach said...

Is that Bin Laden on the left side of that pic? Hmm...

 
At 12:29 PM, Blogger NYgirl said...

Wonder if he'll reply.

 
At 12:44 PM, Anonymous mensa B said...

Has he given you the "Beautify and rectify your Karma NOW, and send El Gouranga a Phat-T, con?"
(If not, I feel you will hear it soon) (*,,,,*)

 
At 3:30 PM, Blogger GunnNutt said...

Heh. Hippy-limey-spam.

 
At 7:58 PM, Blogger The Conservative UAW Guy said...

They're easier to set on fire when they wear those long robes.

 
At 6:33 AM, Anonymous Steve the Pirate said...

Gouranga...is that some sort of euphamism for buttsex?

 

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