Friday, September 23, 2005

Neo-Cons Strike Again

After a successful mission of destroying homes and killing hundreds (if not thousands) of poor minorities by using explosives to create a hole in a levee in New Orleans, neo-cons have targeted another one of their nemeses in Texas. Much like the New Orleans operation, the neo-cons slipped into Texas under the cover of a Hurricane. Once there, they destroyed a bus carrying nursing home patients. Neo-cons have struck fear into the hearts of old people in Texas, and there doesn’t seem to be an end in sight for the conservative mayhem.

AARP rep for Texas, Clarence Alzheimer, has released a statement and said, “We can not protect ourselves from these conservatives. They are hell bent on destroying us. They first wanted to take our Social Security, then they want to take our Medicare, and now they are blowing us up. When will the government step up and take care of the elderly in this nation. Those conservatives have so many weapons at their disposal. Satellite TV, ipods, new fangled video games, all these things cause terror to the elderly.”

Over Lord Karl Rove, head of the neo-cons has released a statement countering the AARP’s accusations. “I demand that AARP retract its statement blaming conservatives for the destruction of the bus in Texas. They will do this now, or I will remove the government tit from their mouths and tell their children not to call them.”

When I asked Clarence Alzheimer how he felt about the Rove statement released on the internet, he replied, “The inter-what? Stop scaring me with your technology.”

I'm sure this complete lie will end up on Democratic Underground.
Linked it on Basil's Blog for Lunch

11 Comments:

At 9:55 AM, Blogger The Conservative UAW Guy said...

Heh.
DU DUmbasses.

 
At 9:56 AM, Blogger The Conservative UAW Guy said...

Ooops!
FIRST!

 
At 10:41 AM, Blogger a4g said...

I'm glad Bush is finally opening up on his critics. That civility stuff lasted waaaaay too long.

 
At 10:52 AM, Anonymous Steve said...

Who's next!!

 
At 11:43 AM, Blogger GunnNutt said...

Kindergartners are next! Kill the tots of Liberals before they grow up to be hippies. Oh, wait... Libs get abortions, not have babies. OK, Kill more old folks by pushing their walkers down the stairs.

 
At 2:45 PM, Blogger Toni said...

As soon as I heard about the bus I thought the same thing! Not really but I'm sure Bush did this along with his Neo-con buddies! :)

 
At 8:42 PM, Blogger SeanS said...

'new fangled video games'

Yeah, like GTA Vice City. I'm hoping they come out with an expansion pack where you get to shoot up New Orleans.

 
At 8:48 AM, Anonymous Fitch said...

Was the bus from a DU field trip maybe?

 
At 2:24 PM, Blogger banjodude said...

:)

 
At 9:43 AM, Anonymous MEGABRAD said...

Good stuff! That is very accurate reporting DPT. I know it is all true! Also, you're right again about Nagin. He is totally man-mayor of the year.

 
At 12:54 PM, Blogger Damian G. said...

Yes, but how can we implicate the Jooos and the vast, Zionist conpiracy?

 

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