Tuesday, September 20, 2005

Questions About Child Rearing


I’m not a parent, but I did once baby-sit my niece. With that said I’m going to be answering all you questions about how to raise a child. I know what you are thinking, “How can someone with no children know how to raise a child?” Well it’s simple. I have a Dr. in front of my name and can be an expert in everything for all you know. So go ahead and ask me questions on how to raise your children. I’m sure I wont screw them up too bad.

23 Comments:

At 7:39 AM, Anonymous Steve the Pirate said...

I am twenty years old and (quite happily) unmarried. However, I would like to ask what age you think I should have my first lil' pirate?

 
At 8:21 AM, Anonymous Steve said...

When raising children How far down do you plant the seed? and how often should you water them? I know that's 2 questions but they go hand in hand. I know you can handle it though! Thankssss

 
At 8:46 AM, Anonymous Jo said...

I don't have children, on purpose, can you help with dogs? :)

 
At 8:48 AM, Blogger Dr. Phat Tony said...

Because they are so similar, yes ask away.

 
At 8:53 AM, Blogger PoP said...

How do you get your children to care for their own children?

 
At 8:56 AM, Blogger PoP said...

By the way you don't need to have any kids. I'll be glad to loan you your sister's children any time you feel the need to be fatherly. PLEASE. There may even be some money in it for you.

 
At 8:57 AM, Blogger a4g said...

Doctor,

How can I convince my kids that Daddy's "blogging time" is more important than their stupid bedtime stories?

They're ungrateful brats, right?

 
At 10:10 AM, Anonymous Dwight B said...

So do you refer to yourself as a pirate because you are gay? I know it is not because you have an eye patch... Arghhh....

 
At 10:29 AM, Blogger Dr. Phat Tony said...

Aren't you the one that calls me sugar britches,and has a young man follow you around all the time, Dwight?

 
At 11:18 AM, Blogger a4g said...

You know, you can click on dwight b's name, and his comment goes away. Cool feature.

 
At 11:23 AM, Blogger Dr. Phat Tony said...

This is going no where fast. All this useless child rearing information will go to waste without questions.

 
At 11:30 AM, Blogger PoP said...

Now if you want to know how not to raise your children you can allways ask me. Sorry son, but my expertise may be needed in this Q&A. Just call on me if you need me.

 
At 11:44 AM, Blogger a4g said...

Okay, more questions:

* How can I ensure that my kids won't turn into dirty filthy hippies when it offers so much free, unprotected sex?

* When is it appropriate for me to start haranguing my kids the way Pop harangues you?

* If I have the impulse to protest the Iraq War like Cindy Sheehan, do I have to wait until my kid dies in combat? Or can I do it while he's still deployed?

 
At 11:47 AM, Blogger David said...

How do you explain to your child that the square of the hypotenuse of a right triangle may well be equal to the sum of the squares of the two adjacent sides, but he still doesn't get the keys to the car to go to a rap "concert"?

Sub-question: can you disown your child for thinking that rap is music?

Should you holler "Slut! Slut!" in public when your daughter dresses like a 2-bit whore?

These questions, of course, do not apply to my children. They both knew better than to test me on issues like these...

 
At 11:54 AM, Anonymous Stretch said...

At what point is it no longer appropriate to breast feed children?

 
At 12:10 PM, Blogger PoP said...

OO OO let me answer that one, Stretch.

 
At 12:37 PM, Anonymous Steve said...

Another question.

If you catch your son in the bathroom "spanking the monkey" what should you do?

did I just go to far?

maybe I went to far...

 
At 12:40 PM, Anonymous Steve said...

Or maybe Pop could answer that one for me. maybe from experience with his son >:} he he!

 
At 12:49 PM, Blogger PoP said...

OO OO let me answer this one too.

 
At 12:58 PM, Blogger Insolublog said...

If I ever have kids, when is the best time to phase them out of 'The Foot of Justice' and allow them to explore A$$es, Tit$ and Firearms?

 
At 2:23 PM, Anonymous Dwight B said...

You see, A4G, if that is your real name... Every good blog needs an antogonist. And while my spelling is not the best, I can be a steaming turd...

 
At 2:23 PM, Anonymous Dwight B said...

The important this about all this is... is the breasts not bombs site ok for work?

 
At 6:57 AM, Anonymous Missy said...

Hmmm... Lets' see if you can help me. I'm a single parent of two and I'm constantly being nudged (pushed) into dating by family and friends. Somehow they find it unbelievable that I can be happy alone. I haven't dated in quite awhile because I put my focus on the kids and myself. While raising children alone, is it better to remain single or date, which opens up the possibility of them getting attached easily and getting hurt? Besides... I'm in Massachusetts. It's really hard to find a good Conservative guy up here. :)

 

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