Thursday, September 01, 2005

Ted Kennedy Caused the Hurricane

The lefties and moonbats have been blaming the hurricane on Bush and I thought I could help bring this lunacy to a whole new level with my own conspiracy theory.

I believe, but can’t prove, that Ted Kennedy caused the hurricane by releasing methane gas, by being horribly flatulent, that caused the earth to warm around the equator turning a tropical depression into a hurricane. I also believe that he intentionally targeted New Orleans because he has a thing for drowning people and knew that the city would be fairly easy to flood since it was below sea level.

Let’s look at the facts. When news started spreading of the horrible devastation in New Orleans and Mississippi he was heard saying something completely incoherent. I, being the master of drunk talk have, translated his inebriated rant into English for you all to hear.

Teddy: “uarhya luv yachivas damnwhodo wha marxismsocialism drownawoman fillerup needtoloseafewihatbush.”

Which means: “My plan has worked now Massachusetts will be the only place to get Oysters, and Boston will be known as the nations party town instead of New Orleans. Take that you damn Cajuns. Get me another drink, a young woman and the car keys; I’m feeling frisky”

See Proof that Ted Kennedy is the cause of the Hurricane.

11 Comments:

At 8:23 AM, Blogger Insolublog said...

Don't leave out the possibility that the storm 'surge' was caused by fat Teddy doing a cannonball off and oil rig.

 
At 8:33 AM, Anonymous Steve said...

Down with Fat Kennedy!!!

 
At 9:35 AM, Anonymous Fitch said...

Wow! You make a convincing case.

 
At 10:27 AM, Blogger GunnNutt said...

Thanks for the translation! I've been stuck on 'drownaqoman' which I incorrectly took to mean "Aquaman can beat me to a pulp with his flippers, I'm such a 'tard"

 
At 11:40 AM, Blogger PoP said...

MY translation was Karl Rove Karl Rove did it. It was Karl Rove.

 
At 6:42 PM, Blogger Uber said...

That's it! When this story hits the MSM we'll remember we heard it here first Doc.

Btw, I think a certain drunken Kennedy manages your word verifications. Food for thought...

 
At 7:18 PM, Blogger Toni said...

You are so bad. That was so on target...lol. Actually, this is about as correct as that moronic nephew of Teddy's assertion. Gave me a good laugh anyway.

 
At 9:05 PM, Blogger Damian G. said...

I've argued this for years.

I'm even thinking of writing an editorial on the matter for my school newspaper.

I'm NOT kidding.

 
At 11:34 PM, Blogger SeanS said...

I heard that some of the residents reported smelling something foul just before Katrina came ashore. This explains everything.

 
At 5:33 AM, Anonymous Steve the Pirate said...

No, no, no. It was Bush, Halliburton, and the Joos who caused the hurricane.

 
At 8:52 PM, Blogger Uber said...

You mean Bu$hitler, Cheneybuton, and jooooooooos don't you steve?

Gotta work on that delivery. *g*

 

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