Wednesday, October 05, 2005

A Bill O’Reilly Scandal That Doesn’t Involve a Loofah

Breaking News! A new scandal is hitting the blogosphere with enormous repercussions for the star of the O’Reilly Factor, Bill O’Reilly. Rumor has it that O’Reilly, while not into spin, likes to kill cats with a claw hammer. The investigative team here at Dr. Phat Tony’s has uncovered a picture that gives credence to these rumors. Notice the pin on O’Reilly’s jacket, when blown up it shows his true feelings about cats. Although this picture alone is not enough to bring O’Reilly up on charges, it does show that O’Reilly holds felines in contempt. If anyone else can uncover other incriminating pictures of O’Reilly’s kitten bashing fetish, track back to this post.

Update! Investigative reporters, here at Dr. Phat Tony’s, have uncovered another scandal involving O’Reilly but not a loofah. Anonymous sources (hookers in time square) have said that O’Reilly was once a woman that closely resembled Helen Thomas. If anyone has any photographic proof of this rumor, track back to this post.


At 2:56 PM, Blogger a4g said...

I love ya, Doctor. But if you post another picture of Helen Thomas on the blog without a CLEAR WARNING for your visitors, I'm de-linking you.

MY EYES!!!!!

Are there really that many shades of ugly?

At 3:06 PM, Anonymous jjelwell said...

Yours is the best from IMAO. :)
You have a woman that is uglier than former president Hillary "I'm moving to the middle" Clinton!!

Keep up the good work.

At 12:52 AM, Blogger Pebble said...

Make this go away!

At 4:12 AM, Anonymous Steve the Pirate said...

Damn you, Tony.

I just ate, and did NOT need to see that picture of Helen "I Crap From My Mouth and Burp From My Arse" Thomas.

I second A4G's comment.

By the way, your post is funny as hell.

At 4:40 AM, Blogger PoP said...

Way to go son go for the big dog. I see fame and fortune... well maybe just fame for you. Amazing to watch just scroll between the two photos and they actualy seem to become one.

At 5:02 AM, Anonymous Steve the Pirate said...

Why does the button on Thomas' blouse look like The Punisher's logo?

At 6:38 AM, Blogger The Conservative UAW Guy said...

Very funny, Doc!
However, the Helen picture IS painful.
A little warning would be appreciated...


At 6:49 AM, Blogger Insolublog said...

I need to strip some paint this weekend. I think I will print Helen out and wrap her around a sanding block, face out of course.

At 10:16 AM, Blogger Skip said...

Great piece! (the writing not the photo) I'm attempting to continue this charade.

At 2:41 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh great, now I'm blind. Warn a guy before showing a picture like that, so I can get my Mirror Shield out of storage.

At 3:30 PM, Blogger Nightcrawler said...

You could start a weight-loss program with that picture! Her and Madeline Albright and Janet Reno.


At 5:07 PM, Blogger Uber said...

Lies, lies, all deceitful lies!

Not only does Bill love kitty cats and hate "the hag", but loves puppy dogs, and Jesus too. He always puts the toilet seat back down, never ever wears a fanny pack and is the perfect man.

Yeah, the whole loofa thing, though also a lie, only added to his mysterious charm in my book.


Very well thought out and written though, Doc. ;)


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