I’m not sure why it is that me and my wife get invited to so many children’s birthday parties, but we end up going to quite a few. Most of the time we bring my 3 year old niece and let her run around with the kids while my wife talks to her friends and I drink. Usually the only person I have to talk to is Mukrz. I’m not saying I don’t enjoy the conversation; it’s just that there is only so much you can catch up on before you run out of topics and just stand around. This weekend was one of those weekends that we participated in birthday parties. One party was for a two year old, who is the child of some acquaintances, and one was for my nephew who turned 9.
Let’s start with the two year old’s birthday party on Saturday. Can’t say that it was the best time that I had. For one thing, most people there were not speaking English. One of the draw backs of having a wife who’s first language isn’t English. It’s good for her, because she gets a chance to relax and speak to people in her native tongue. Bad for me, because Mukrz is usually the only one that is proficient enough in English to hold a conversation with me. Another draw back is that Mukrz is fluent in Polish (my wife’s native language) and has the ability to speak to everyone at the party. I spend a lot of time standing around smiling like a moron, and drinking a lot of booze. This weekend the booze was a no go, cause I was on-call and had to keep my sobriety just in case. All in all, I was ready to leave almost as soon as we got there.
On Sunday was my nephew’s birthday. It was a little more interesting, but was problem riddled. The strippers didn’t show up. The band did, but were already too wasted to play. Again, the booze was there but I was still on call. Pop, got drunk and yelled “Boobies!” every so often. I learned my 9 year old nephew can’t hold his liquor. Pop almost lost an eye when a Smarty was launched out of a dispenser. I still can’t figure out what that little robot was supposed to do besides look surprised when you pushed the button on his head. I did play some PlayStation with my nephew. I wooped up on him, but then again I wasn’t drinking. We ended up leaving before things got out of hand.
It could have been worse. I have a friend who attended 4 birthday parties in a span of 2 days. I might have to reconsider assisted suicide if I was put through that.