Tuesday, October 11, 2005

I’m Helping the Republicans

I received a letter from Patrick Ruffini this morning and thought I would share our correspondence. I think this might be a way to let the GOP know what the common man was thinking, since I’m more common than most.

I have some news. Starting this week, I'm starting on a new path and taking leave from the day-to-day work of writing my blog at PatrickRuffini.com. I'll now be working at the Republican National Committee as their new eCampaign Director, helping make GOP.com a driver of votes and volunteer action in 2006. Needless to say, it's a job that will require all the time I've got! My announcement post is here.

I've also set up a special e-mail address, ideasATpatrickruffini.com, where you can share your ideas on what we can do to advance the Republican cause online. Let me hear from you.

Mr. Ruffini,

Congratulations on your position as the eCampaign Director, I hope that you do some good and help the Republicans remain in the majority; as long as some conditions are met.

You wanted ideas, and I have a few. Not only will these ideas keep Republicans in the majority, but will also increase the amount of them in office. I hope that you can relay these points to Karl Rove or whoever is in charge of directing ideology. I will write them in bullet form, so that it will be easy for you to pick and choose what you would like to relay.

• Grow testicles. This is completely metaphorical, but good advice to our Republicans currently in office. How long can the minority party push the Republicans around? Why not step up to the plate and start pushing the agenda that we voted for.

• You guys are pissing me off with all the spending. Tax cuts=good. Spending like a 17 year old girl at the mall with daddy’s credit card=bad.

• Homeland security is a farce, if we can’t control who comes and goes through our porous border. Try a fence. If that doesn’t work, try a wall. If that doesn’t work, try a mine field. I really don’t care how the border is kept safe as long as it is being controlled.

• Social Security is a scam, and I’m tired of paying into a failing system. I’m 29 years old and could have a lot more money going towards my retirement if it wasn’t for the forced investment into Social Security. I know old people vote, but they aren’t voting Republican. AARP has a hold of their leash and old people will vote anyway they tell them to. Don’t pander to them; it’s a waste of time.

• Start fighting back. How many times must I see a Dem bad mouthing Republicans or the President? Say something already. For example; LANDRIEU: “And if one person criticizes them or says one more thing, including the President of the United States he will hear from me. One more word about it after this show airs and I might likely have to punch them, literally.” ANY REPUBLICAN “Instead of picking fist fights with people over pointing out the obvious failings of the local governments in LA, Landrieu should be fighting the corruption of the government in LA so things like this don’t happen again.” See that wasn’t so hard. It was even civil.

• Call it what it is. If a grieving mother goes all crazy and socialist, then call her a crazy socialist. If Muslim terrorists blow something up, then call them Muslim terrorists. You don’t have to add extreme, militant, or fringe to it. When the Muslim community starts policing their own, then we can start separating the Muslim terrorists from the rest of them. Until that happens though, their going to have to live with the stigma of being a violent religion.

Of course these are just humble opinions of a working class conservative. I really doubt that anyone is listening besides the few people that read my blog. With that said, if the Republicans don’t change their ways, they will lose to a 3rd party candidate and a Democrat will be the next president.

Sincerely
Dr. Phat Tony

30 Comments:

At 6:36 AM, Blogger a4g said...

You've got my vote, Doctor.

 
At 6:42 AM, Blogger fmragtops said...

Doctor Phat Tony for President. Hey, maybe you could be the head of the RNC, and do battle with Howard "Primal Scream" Dean.

 
At 6:58 AM, Blogger The Conservative UAW Guy said...

Wow!
Just wow.

Couln't have said it better myself, Doc!

I am in awe of your coolness! :)

You have my vote as well, sir.

 
At 7:30 AM, Blogger Dr. Phat Tony said...

Too many skeletons in my closet to run for coucilman much less a federal position. Dang you Army.

 
At 8:01 AM, Blogger Insolublog said...

Here,Here DPT. My father suggested a cobalt radiation border, with lead tunnels to drive the swag trucks through.
I had to explain that nasty contamination thing to him. But it would mean a nice low recidivism rate.

 
At 8:19 AM, Blogger PoP said...

My son has finily grown a brain. I am so proud. Go ahead run for office. Your skeletons can't be any worse than those that are already in office. I will be glad to campain manager.

 
At 8:20 AM, Blogger Peakah said...

You dream peon.

Unless you're born in a particular family with the right connections, or are obscenely rich and want to spend 70 million dollars to get a job that pays 150/year, you aren't running for dog catcher my friend!

Besides that, right on!

I woke up on the cynical side of the bed this morning I'm afraid.

 
At 8:26 AM, Anonymous Steve said...

Very well said, Doc!

 
At 8:33 AM, Blogger Dr. Phat Tony said...

That's it! I'm going to see what it takes to run for Constable. I hope it's just knowing some good army stories and cheat codes to Far Cry.

 
At 8:55 AM, Blogger fmragtops said...

Don't forget you got bloggers willing to pimp your campaign.

 
At 9:26 AM, Anonymous Steve the Pirate said...

I may have to email this guy myself...

 
At 11:23 AM, Blogger Uber said...

With common sense advice like yours, the RNC just can't go wrong.

I'd vote for ya Doc, no matter how many times you < insert something likely involving booze and a thong here >

 
At 12:32 PM, Blogger Damian G. said...

RIGHT F**KING ON!!!

 
At 12:34 PM, Blogger GunnNutt said...

Me too! DPT for Constable of H-Ville!

 
At 12:52 PM, Blogger a4g said...

Okay, now that your campaign has kicked off, Doctor, it's time to get down to brass tacks.

Bush obviously betrayed us all with this Miers thing, so we need solid assurances as to what payoffs we'll be receiving as your loyal base. (I assume National Swallows Day is a given, so no need to list that.)

 
At 1:02 PM, Blogger Dr. Phat Tony said...

It will be in Huntsville, and celebrated no less than once a week. On another note can anyone find me a list of elected positions in Huntsville AL?

 
At 1:20 PM, Blogger Tyler D. said...

I just deleted that message. i thought it was spam.

 
At 1:45 PM, Blogger Wyatt Earp said...

Brilliant, but fairly misguided. They won't listen. They never do. And the Hill-debeast will be Prez in '08.

*shudder*

 
At 4:25 PM, Blogger kateykakes said...

AMEN, Doc!

 
At 6:14 PM, Blogger Cove Rebel said...

Doc I know you so...thank God I don't live in Huntsville!

 
At 7:05 PM, Blogger Dr. Phat Tony said...

I'm going to clean this town up. Starting with my carpet. Where is my wife?

 
At 7:54 PM, Blogger Nightcrawler said...

I can't agree with your points more. Especially the part about growing testicles. Whoever the next president is (Dear God let it be a Republican!), I hope he has a pair of brass ones.

 
At 8:50 PM, Blogger NOTR said...

Welcome aboard.Perhaps you can add some sanity to what was silly Republican ideas in the last election. Block Parties, et al - stuff straight out of the 60's. Time to turn up the heat and update the approach for the target audience here in N. Alabammy.

 
At 9:23 PM, Anonymous the Cap'n said...

phat tony preaches the truth. problem is, if everyone votrs for a third party candidate, hillary clinton will be president . . . again . . . scheiBe!!!!

 
At 10:46 PM, Anonymous Fitch said...

I think Doc can beat Hillarrity. Count me in!

 
At 11:57 PM, Blogger Tyler D. said...

Dude I want to be a running mate. PLEASE!

 
At 4:41 AM, Blogger PoP said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

 
At 4:45 AM, Blogger PoP said...

I hope to be his Karl Rove. Its a conspiracy by Pop. Its all a Plot by Pop.

 
At 1:05 PM, Blogger Daniel Levesque said...

I agree. Be sure to let me know if I start drifting away from the core conservative when I run for office. I may want to be president, but I don't want to crompromise my values to do it.

www.ravingconservative.com

Oh, yeah, I happen to like being in the Army. It's not always easy, but it's good honest work and it's totally sevrive oriented. I'm sorry you had a bad experience.

 
At 6:48 PM, Blogger Dr. Phat Tony said...

I didn't have a bad experience the army just went to pc for me. I look back at with fondness. Only about 3 months of my army time was hell.

 

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