Memorial Medical Conversation
Shortly after the hurricane had made landfall a conversation was overheard at the
3 days after Katrina makes landfall.
Doctor: All right everyone let’s get ready to evacuate.
Nurse: Doctor this man here just coughed.
Doctor: Well you know what to do.
Nurse brandishes hammer.
Nurse: O.k. sir, you might feel a dull pain for a second.
Patient: Wait, I didn’t cough.
Nurse: I heard you cough sir. We can’t waste our time trying to evacuate people who may not make it.
Patient: No, I cleared my throat. I didn’t cough.
Nurse: Sir, we don’t have time to argue. We need to start evacuating and you’re holding everyone up with your illness.
Patient: Look I’m not ill. I had some orange juice this morning and it makes my spit a little thick. All I did was clear my throat.
Nurse: Doctor, please come here. We have a patient that is refusing to accept his mercy killing.
Doctor: Sir I’m sorry that you are too i
Patient: I’m not sick.
Doctor: You can take this mercy killing the easy way or the hard way sir.
Patient: What the hell is the easy way? What are you going to hit me a whole bunch with the hammer if I take the hard way.
Doctor: Oh yeah, right. I’m sorry about the hammer sir but we ran out of medicine that would make people die quietly. There was an outbreak of pink eye on the third floor. In consolation the nurse has only had to hit one person more than once to put them down. I think the odds are good that it only takes one tap with you. After all you’re terminally ill.
Nurse: Hey that guy raised his hands when I tried to put him out of his misery. He didn’t count.
Patient: I’m not terminally anything. I was just clearing my throat.
Doctor: Denial is usually the first step. We just don't have time for you to make it all the way to acceptance.
Patient: I’m not going to let you do this.
Doctor: There are two reason you wouldn’t be able to evacuate. One is because you are too sick to make the trip and two is because you shoe is untied.
Patient: My shoe is untied? (bends over)
Doctor: It was the way he would have wanted to go, peacefully and with dignity.
Nurse: Sure, whatever. Alright the rest of you, let’s get ready to evacuate. Hey you over there. Did I just see you rub your eye!?