Thursday, November 10, 2005

Free PR for Aruba


Arubans are quite upset about Gov. Riley asking for a national boycott of the Dutch island Aruba. They’ve complained to the U.S. State department about it. I can understand why they’re upset. When your only export is scuba diving, funny accents, and date rape, bad PR can put a dent in the amount of money that flows into the country. Never being one to let an island nation disappear because of government officials mishandling an investigation, I’ve decide to help out by giving ideas for new slogans for Aruba. Plus it gives me a chance to use bullets.

• Aruba, gateway to the sex slave trade.
• Get slipped the mickey in Aruba.
• Get lost forever in Aruba.
• Where the white women at? (Thank you Blazing Saddles)
• We guarantee you won’t lose your luggage. Guarrantee does not cover your life.
• Aruba, now with 30% less chance of being gang raped and lost forever.
• All drinks chock full of roofie goodness.
• We bring families together… by making them search for you.
Sleep Swim with the fishes in Aruba.

22 Comments:

At 4:48 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Funny that now that Election season has started Bob is for a Boycott of Aruba, when a few months ago on Fox News he called Natalee Holloway's Mothers call for a boycott "Ridiculous".

DanFan

 
At 4:55 AM, Anonymous Fitch said...

Funny stuff Doc. I especially liked, "All drinks chock full of roofie goodness."

 
At 4:55 AM, Blogger Dr. Phat Tony said...

Like alot of people in Alabama go to Aruba in the first place. Everyone knows that the Alabamian mecca of vacations is to graceland.

 
At 5:51 AM, Blogger Contagion said...

LOL... nice.

 
At 6:37 AM, Blogger Wyatt Earp said...

Aruba: Come see Honorary Mayor Kobe Bryant!

 
At 7:09 AM, Blogger Cove Rebel said...

I've never met ANYONE who went to Aruba...but then again...does anyone ever come back?

And for pete sake Dr., the dang % symbol comes AFTER the number!

 
At 7:17 AM, Blogger Dr. Phat Tony said...

Public education strikes again.

 
At 8:04 AM, Blogger a4g said...

Damn. You squeezed every last bit of funny out of this one, Doctor. I got nothin' to add.

 
At 8:23 AM, Blogger Cove Rebel said...

"Get Lost Forever in Aruba" is my favorite!

 
At 10:40 AM, Blogger The Conservative UAW Guy said...

The classic DPT funny.
Great job, Doc.

You are truly the master.

How's this one -

Aruba: We don't have Chandra Levy; no really!

 
At 1:35 PM, Anonymous Stretch said...

Aruba: You've played 'Where's Waldo.' Now play, 'Where's Chandra?'

250,000 drunk fishermen can't be wrong!

Aruba: You must be DYING to get here!

Aruba: Now with 30% fewer redneck tourists!

No, we don't cane people. That's Indonesia.

Come for a weekend of dinner, dancing and STDs; dinner and dancing optional.

 
At 3:15 PM, Blogger GunnNutt said...

I like Aruba. Its got an IHRA dragstrip. Really!

 
At 5:37 PM, Blogger Uber said...

LOL All good...

 
At 9:16 PM, Blogger Frank Galvin said...

While I enjoy a sense of humor, these comments are pretty tacky...even for me. You laugh...meanwhile a mother has no idea what happened to her daughter, will probably have no closure with this, and will miss her child that she loved so much. Do any of you know what it feels like to lose a child; especially under these kind of circumstances? I expected a lot more from you conservative dickheads.

 
At 9:25 PM, Blogger Frank Galvin said...

Almost forgot...Don Siegelman will be cleared of these false charges and the spin that the "good-ole boys" in Montgomery have put out there will be seen for what it truly is...an attempt to slander and libel a good man, and to prevent him from being rightfully reelected as governor. Let's face it...Riley lied about no taxes and is a lame-duck governor and if ex-judge Moore is elected, y'all will be saying prayers everytime you flush the toilet at your jobs, or will have to bow down to the 10 commandments displayed at the drive-thru when you go deposit your check at the bank or when yer gettin a big mac at McDonalds. Oh yeah, he'll also sign laws that he doesn't have to follow because he is "above the law".

 
At 10:41 PM, Blogger Tyler D. said...

DaMn A lIbErAl.

I cAn'T bElIeVe It!

Siegelman is as guilty as sin.

 
At 11:16 PM, Blogger JoeCool1013 said...

Hey FG,

If you would bother to read what Judge Moore was trying to do you would understand that he only wanted to preserve part of our Country's heritage. He wasn't trying to shove it down anybody's throat!! What is wrong with you that you can't respect what our founding fathers considered sacred?!?!?! What is wrong with you that you can't let someone have religious beliefs?!?! For somebody who want's to be all high and mighty and serious, you don't mind lowering yourself to calling people names. It was a little humor to help ease the frustration and pain! Relax and have some fun!!! :)

 
At 4:19 AM, Blogger Wyatt Earp said...

Frank, judging by the title of your blog, I assumed you DIDN'T expect more from us "dickheads."

 
At 4:33 AM, Blogger Dr. Phat Tony said...

FG didn't you ask me to be a kneecapper for you once?

 
At 6:15 AM, Blogger The Conservative UAW Guy said...

Frank - Yes, I have lost a child.
But these are still funny.

BTW, I saw your site and if you think DU has the truth, you have no credibility here.

Asstard.

 
At 6:48 PM, Anonymous B-Cack said...

I say leave Ducks Unlimited out of it!... (oh wait.. you were talking about the other DU)*Parenthesized comment above applies only to non-Alabama residents, we know they are all about Ducks Unlimited*
Secondly, I am sorry that anyone has to lose a child, especially like that, but FUCK ARUBA... are they not the "mini-me" of the Dutch anyways? Boycott them? Sounds a little weak to me, fuck man do they have any oil? How bout we just invade their ass? IF you really want to see the rape and sex crimes go up just let the 82nd Jump in there, hell they haven't made a real combat jump sicne 45 or so.....

 
At 6:48 PM, Blogger Frank Galvin said...

Ok I guess I have to chime in here...

to joecool: there is a huge misconception about this country being founded on christianity, god, etc. America was just a place where you could do that sort of thing and not get yer nuts put into a vice. another misconception is that there is no separation of church and state. of course I don't expect you bible-thumpers to get it since y'alls brainwashed. there's nothing wrong with religious beliefs per se...they just only belong in your fucking house or church...NOT the public schools, NOT in the courts, and NOT in politics. you might want to stop watching 'rasslin' once in awhile and turn on the news...you would see that there are some other relgions out there besides christianity. boy i can only imagine what the debates would be if the star of david was put into an alabama court house...woooo weeeeee. also, i won't mind lowering myself by calling people names unless they stop trying to push jesus down my throat every where i go. besides...if yer an asshole...then yer an asshole...why pretend we like each other right? and if you seriously believe that judge moore was in the right...well let's just throw away all of our laws, constitutions, etc and just hold court using a gideon's bible. judge moore is a "special" chief justice...only he is allowed to refuse to cooperate with a higher court's ruling.

to conservative uaw guy: if you lost a child but still think this shit is funny then you are probably fucked up in the head...what parent would ever say that?? i wouldn't even say that if i was a parent! (harsh but you started this)

and to show you i'm open minded...i gave big kudos to Matt Murphy (a conservative talk show guy on 101.1 i believe out of birmingham). i emailed him and told him that i enjoy his show very much and that he offers a good alternate perspecctive on things that i can bounce against my own ideas and see if i'm wrong. frankly, i'm wrong quite often but when i'm right...i'm dead on.

also to tyler d: i thought everyone was innocent until proven guilty? man you fucking republicans like to circumvent the law (like yer asshole buddy moore).

wyatt burp: yer right.

later jesus freaks.

FG

 

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