Tuesday, November 29, 2005

I'm Here to Help


It's that every other Tuesday where I get to answer all you burning questions. I've acutally thought of a topic this week. Today I will be answering quetions about holidays. Any questions you have about any holiday will be answered in my usual nonsensical way. Ask already, I don't have all day.

20 Comments:

At 10:20 AM, Blogger Telebush said...

Do atheists exchange gifts at Christmas? What about Satanist?

 
At 10:57 AM, Blogger The Anti-Hippie said...

what's with the Easter bunny and those eggs? is it some kind of mutant bunny/chicken (hereafter referred to as a bicken)? and does the bicken report directly to Darth Rove himself?

 
At 11:04 AM, Blogger Insolublog said...

How will lawyers profit from the fact that doctors can't find needles long enough to penetrate so many buttocks?

 
At 11:26 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

When is National Naked Day? And what activities take place on this day?

DanFan

 
At 11:26 AM, Blogger Contagion said...

If there is a seperation of Church and State, why is Christmas (An obviously religious holiday) a Federal holiday?

 
At 12:17 PM, Blogger Pandy said...

What is Santa bringing me this year?

 
At 1:08 PM, Blogger Tyler D. said...

What is...
The air speed velocity of an African swallow wearing a Santa hat???

 
At 1:44 PM, Anonymous Ssssteve said...

Doc,
Why does my wife get mad when I give her great gifts for Christmas like: Vacuum Cleaners, Toasters, Waffle Makers, coffee makers, etc..

 
At 1:54 PM, Blogger fmragtops said...

Why the hell does Santa Clause quit coming when you stop believing in him?

 
At 2:06 PM, Blogger kateykakes said...

I have yet to figure out Kwanzaa. Can you help?

 
At 2:07 PM, Blogger Daniel Levesque said...

Should whiskey be added to the list of holday drinks so it can recieve official recognition for it place among eggnog and hot chocolate as one of the most consumed beverages of the holiday season?

www.ravingconservative.com

 
At 2:11 PM, Blogger Dr. Phat Tony said...

How come I see 11 comments here but don't have 11 votes on here

 
At 2:35 PM, Blogger a4g said...

What special holidays are celebrated by hat-wearing, pipe-smoking chimps?

And how come we can't get presents on all twelve days of Christmas, like on the eight days of Chanukah?

And how come there are so many damn ways to spell Hanukkah anyway?

 
At 3:15 PM, Blogger Peakah said...

(I'm going to compare wyatt and your responses to this question!)

Why will half the dogs in America receive Christmas presents this year, yet few of us pause to consider the miserable life of the pig--an animal easily as intelligent as a dog--that becomes the Christmas ham?

 
At 3:22 PM, Anonymous Lil' B-cack said...

How come whenever you see a "holiday" commercial on tv nowadays, they can never utter the word "Christmas" it always has to be holidays or "Chrismahanakwazanah" or something like that? Is it cause of the smelly, retarded liberals? Or JOOS? Is it because of the joooooosssss?

 
At 3:49 PM, Blogger Wyatt Earp said...

How come Lowe's is selling "Holiday Trees," but is also posting a similar sign in Spanish that they have "Christmas Trees" on sale? Why is it okay to offend English-speaking Christians, but not illegals?

Oh, and Happy Rama-Hanu-Kwanz-Mas!

 
At 4:45 PM, Blogger Uber said...

If I ask you if I can ask two questions will you say
"Can you vote for me twice?"

If you were in charge, how would public school children be expected to celebrate Christmas, and why does my grandma not allow "blatant" drinking of alcoholic beverages over the holidays even if everyone already knows that's what you're drinking, but it's ok as long as you don't admit that that's what you're drinking?

 
At 7:35 PM, Blogger GunnNutt said...

How come there aren't any Christian holidays that last more than one day? Every other religion has holidays that span weeks!

 
At 10:15 PM, Anonymous Fiar said...

Why do I get sick on every. single. holiday. ever?

 
At 3:12 AM, Blogger The Conservative UAW Guy said...

Is Hanukkah really just a week where the Jooooos solidify and tweak their plans for world domination, or is this just propaganda put forth by Cindy Shrillhan and the Nation of Islam?

 

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