Tuesday, November 29, 2005

Operation Beretta (A Phat History Lesson)

This one time, at Camp Bondsteel, all hell broke loose which forced a covert operation. No operations security will be violated, as this story will be denied by everyone involved. These accounts may or may not be all true (they’re true) but since I have nothing besides hear say and no physical evidence, take the story for what it is.

So there I was, no sh**, in the KosaNam minding my own business when a report came through operations from Sgt Blue Falcon that changed the plans of the whole company. To provide some background, I have to say that there were a few soldiers that had a problem with keeping positive control on their sensitive items. Puffy once left his weapon in the chow hall and for corrective actions he had to have everything he wore tied down to him with 550 cord. Yes, his hat was tied to his t-shirt, t-shirt tied to BDU top, BDU top tied to his belt, so forth, and so on. He even had to tie his upper receiver to his lower receiver. There was another soldier that had problems with losing 40mm grenades out on missions. Sgt Blue Falcon though, he took the cake as far as being a loser.

So I was in Operations at the time and we received a report from Sgt. Blue Falcon that he had “misplaced” his M9 Beretta while outside the wire. Losing your weapon in the Army is probably worse then flipping off your First Sgt. The trouble that rains down from losing your weapon is monsoon proportions and losing it out in the middle of Kosovo is much worse. Now how could Sgt. Blue Falcon possibly lose his 9mil? Good question and here is the answer. Instead of having it in his holster, he decided that he would keep it in the front pouch of his RBA (Ranger Body Army) instead of the plate that was supposed to go there. On his way to another camp he and his partner pulled over to the side of the road so that he could download some waste. I guess it fell out of his RBA then. He then got back into the HMMWV and drove the rest of the way to the other camp. It was at the gat when he went to clear his weapon before going into the camp when he realized that he no longer had control of his 9mil.

The real issue now becomes what to do about it. Sgt Blue Falcon and his partner have already spent hours looking for it. The Company Commander made a command decision right then. He was not going to go to the Base Commander and let him know that one of our soldiers lost his weapon in the middle of Kosovo, instead he would take the whole company put them in a line and start looking for the weapon. So off they went, 100 soldiers out in a line in the woods of Kosovo looking for a 9mm Beretta. You think that finding WMD’s in Iraq is hard, this beats that hands down. Now everyone is fairly pissed (except me, I wasn’t on a team at the time so I didn’t have to go HAHA) at Sgt Blue Falcon for making them go out in full battle rattle to look for a stupid pistol. I on the other hand was having a blast reading the reports coming in about Operation Beretta. I believe it was at about 8 hours of looking when the Beretta was finally found. A soldier said he found it in the mud. That soldier was plain stupid, when everyone knew that Sgt Blue Falcon lost it while fertilizing Kosovo’s plants.

To prove a point that I mad earlier about how easy it was to get medals in the Army, Sgt Blue Falcon, who lost a M9 Beretta and wrecked a HMMWV wile in Kosovo, ended up getting an award when we got back from Kosovo. It’s an “F” up move up Army I tell you.


At 7:42 AM, Blogger Pandy said...

"F-up, move-up" always makes me chuckle. It's so painfully true that if you don't laugh, you'll cry. I keep telling my husband that if he'd take a couple swings at me, he'd be a Plt Sgt before he knew it.

Sweet, first again.

At 8:31 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Don't worry, the Army has not cornered the market on "f" up move up. The Air Force was the same way only if you 'f' up and the CO liked you, you moved up. I thought it was just the military but now that I am retired, I find it the same way in civilian life, Oh well, at least I learned how to adapt!!!

At 8:59 AM, Blogger Dr. Phat Tony said...

I'm guessing it might be government in general that has this promotion scale.

At 9:42 AM, Blogger Dr. Phat Tony said...

at least i think it is. the unions might do it the same way

At 1:06 PM, Blogger Tyler D. said...

Ha! That is good.

At 4:49 PM, Blogger Uber said...

I always thought it was just a schweet DUI under one's belt that meant certain advancement. Oo

At 5:15 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I remember an E-7 in the AF that got popped for DWI. The next day he turned himself in to the CO and said he had a severe alcohol problem. Shipped him off to Rehab at Shepard AFB, Tx. When he came back he asked if he could address all Commander's Calls so he could brief all the troops about the evils of alcohol. heh heh!! Next thing you know, they removed the Article 15 from his record, he ended up getting promoted to E-8 and then E-9. What a waste, "f" up and move on up!!

At 7:44 PM, Blogger GunnNutt said...

What did he get the award for? Creative pistol-smithing?

Great story!

At 10:20 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

in Iraq my sqaud leader staff seargent clears his pistol lanyard attatched gets in his hummvey pistol falls out the door he shuts it anyway not knowing. imagine the pistol dragging on the rough terrain hanging out the door. what a dumass


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