Friday, November 04, 2005

The Real ‘Poop’

I received an email from Cove Rebel, and because my posts often are reduced to stories about poo, I can’t help but to post this one.

The Mud-shark (aka The Turd)

While fishing in a cove, that had lots of houses close by and a few boats within sight, the ol’ mud-shark started barkin’. No big deal I thought, till it crept out and drew a picture in the bottom of my skivees. In panic, I hopped up onto the back deck, covered myself with a life-jacket, popped open the live well lid and dropped ol’ muddy right into the port box. Pretty slick, I thought, till I realized I had no squat wipe. Well, my skivs were ruined anyhow so I used what was left of them. I put a few bullet weights in the skivs, tossed them over the side and gave them a good salute as they sank slowly towards the bottom.

While I was digging through a storage box for a minnow net to release ol’ muddy, I heard a boat pull up. No kidding, it was the man (game warden)! He asked how I was doin’ and I told him I was just “hangin”. He went through the usual routine, life jacket, fishing liscense, etc. Then he asked if he could look in my live well. I stuttered in disbelief that I hadn’t caught any fish an said “You don’t have to look in there, do ya?” He got real suspicious and a little snotty. I took offense to his attitude and said alright, then pointed to the port live well lid. He opened the lid, stared in for a moment, slammed the lid down, looked up at me and said, “what the f**k is that?” I said, “Sir, that is a mud shark. I’ll put it on the rule if you want, but I’m pretty sure it’ll measure.” The scowl on his face was priceless! He hopped out of my rig, mumbled the he would write a ticket for that if he could and tore off. Laughing myself to tears, I took the minnow net and released ol’ muddy over a brush pile. I “hung out” in the cove for a while longer and went home.

That live well is pretty comfy. I may just have to install a magazine rack in my boat.

Heh, that’s pretty funny. How come I get sent all the poo stories?


At 6:28 AM, Blogger Cove Rebel said...

Maybe because crap rolls down hill.

Oh and to clarify, this was not me on the boat, but I've been in similar circumstances.


At 9:09 AM, Blogger The Conservative UAW Guy said...

As poo stories go, that was definitely a good one!

At 10:07 AM, Anonymous Steve said...

Crap that was funny!! No pun intended, or maybe there was. That was one of the funniest I have read. Maybe Wyatt can read this and cheer up a bit!

At 10:14 AM, Blogger Contagion said...

I've never been in that type of situation, but god that was funny.

At 10:43 AM, Anonymous MEGABRAD said...

Hahaha. Good one.

I read your post below. I have something to say about it. I don't know if you will think this is totally stupid or not. I'll take a chance. I do paintball. Have you ever tried it? I freakin love it man! I know it's not like actually being in a firefight for your life, but it can be really competitive if you do it with the right people. There is a fifty year old guy that does it with us. I saw him leap 10 feet head first into a foxhole to avoid my onslaught! Hahaha. You ex military guys would kick ass at paintball. What do you think DPT?

At 11:46 AM, Blogger Daniel Levesque said...

"Heh, that’s pretty funny. How come I get sent all the poo stories?"

I think it has something to do with the chimp picture.

At 12:09 PM, Blogger The Conservative UAW Guy said...

Doc, you are ultimately worthy to be in a death-match.
I shall advise moonbatty as such!
You are at the top of my list!

BTW - If you and I smite some hippies, will you buy me beer like Grim does? ;)

At 3:58 PM, Anonymous Lil' B-Cack said...

I can't breathe I am laughing so hard. That is one of the funniest poop stories I have ever heard in my life.

At 4:53 PM, Anonymous wife......:-) said...

very funny story ......!!!!!

At 7:26 PM, Blogger kateykakes said...

OMG, that's hysterical!!!!!

At 9:42 PM, Anonymous b-cack said...

That story is the shit.!!!!!!!!

At 9:20 PM, Blogger Tyler D. said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

At 9:21 PM, Blogger Tyler D. said...

I agree with B-Cack.

I really need to proofread before posting.

At 8:19 AM, Blogger millman said...

That was hilarious, lol. Sometimes when you gotta go you gotta go.


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