Well Christmas is over (not a moment too soon) and now New Years is upon the Phat Tony household. Besides having to say “one” twice and kill the tempo of saying “Happy New Years”, me and the spouse are going to be doing things a little bit different this New Years Eve.
Let me give you some background. My wife is not from around here. She grew up in Poland. I met her in Germany while I was serving. We fell in love, got married and moved to Alabama. Normally, on New Years Eve, we go to a party thrown by one of the many Polish immigrants here in town. It’s good for my wife since she enjoys the opportunity to speak her first language. It’s not as much fun for me, because no one wants to speak to me, since I don’t speak Polish. I end up standing around warming pivo until Mukrz can break away from who ever has him locked in conversation. Mukrz happens to be fluent in Polish, where I only know enough to curse and get a beer.
It’s a recycled party. Every year the same people go and probably talk about the same things. I do my normal schtick, and try to make myself scarce to avoid the ever popular, but awkward, conversation that goes like this. (My apologies to my wife for misspelling every Polish word)
“Dzien dobry. Czy mówisz po Polski? ”
“Hello. No, I don’t speak Polish”
“Oh, uhh..How are you?”
“I’m good, and you?”
“uhh good, uhh…”
And off they go to speak some one else.
The only thing that I do look forward to is my small broken English conversations with one older lady that goes outside to smoke with me. She’s hilarious, despite the fact I can only understand 25% of what she’s saying.
So anyway, this year I think me and the wife are staying at home. I'll get liquored up by myself and save time by not having to explain to everyone that I don’t speak Polish. I’ll probably make some drunken phone calls. I’ll probably receive a few of them. (That’s what great about having friends that live 7 hours ahead of you. You get the drunken phone calls at a decent time.) Maybe I’ll do some drunk blogging, or just pass out and forget all about it. Whatever me and the wife decide to do, I’m sure I won’t be asked if I speak Polish.