Friday, December 02, 2005

Home Improvement

Ring Ring

Home D***: Good evening Home D*** how can I help you?

DPT: I need to speak to someone about caulk.

Home D***: Please hold while I transfer you to the right department.

Ring Ring

Bill: Hello this is Bill how can I help you?

DPT: Bill, this is Tony and I heard you were the man to speak to when it came to caulk. Is that right?

Bill: Yah, I know a bit about it. What do you need to know?

DPT: Well I’ve never handled Caulk before, is it hard?

Bill: No, it’s real easy. What do you need the Caulk for?

DPT: My friend was telling me that Caulk was good to fill cracks. My buddy loves Caulk. He says Caulk is the best thing out there to fill a crack.

Bill: Well, it’s pretty good at sealing cracks.

DPT: Let me ask you a couple of questions about the Caulk you have there, Bill. What sizes does Caulk come in?

Bill: Well we have it in 10oz and 6oz.

DPT: So, you have a ½ pound of Caulk and a ¼ pound of Caulk.

Bill: I don’t know the conversion, but that’s sound right.

DPT: How large is the 10oz Caulk?

Bill: It’s pretty big. How large is the crack you’re trying to fill?

DPT: We’ll get to that later. Does the Caulk come in different colors?

Bill: Just white and black.

DPT: Which do you prefer?

Bill: It depends, I’ve actually never used the black before, but I bet it works fine.

DPT: I see. Well I guess I’ll have to come down there and take a look at your Caulk.

Bill: No problem, is there anything else?

DPT: Nope, I think that’s about it. Bill you’ve been a big help. You sure do know a lot about Caulk.

Authors note: I’m not sure where I heard the premise of this originally but it sure is funny.


At 8:04 AM, Anonymous Steve the Pirate said...

I always knew Phat Tony liked the caulk.

At 8:17 AM, Blogger The Conservative UAW Guy said...

I'm still trying to decide if this is a step up, or a step down, from poop stories....

At 8:37 AM, Blogger Peakah said...

Hmmm... spotted dick and now 'caulk'...

What exactly are you trying to tell us? Is your wife writing your blog??

At 9:05 AM, Blogger Daniel Levesque said...

Wasn't this on Crank Yankers a few years back?

At 9:50 AM, Blogger Dr. Phat Tony said...

I can't remember where I heard it. That might be it.

At 10:12 AM, Blogger Wyatt Earp said...

"I got mail! YAY!!!!!!"

At 1:54 PM, Anonymous Ssssteve said...

That Caulk Crap is funny!!

At 2:59 PM, Blogger Contagion said...

*shakes head*

At 7:21 PM, Blogger SeanS said...

"Is there a taste to the caulk?"
"I wouldn't put it in your mouth."
"Speak for yourself."

-Crank Yankers

So funny!

At 8:35 PM, Blogger Pandy said...

And you called me a freak???

At 10:54 PM, Blogger kateykakes said...


Sooooo what is it you're trying to tell us??? No wait, I don't think I want to know! :p

At 7:32 PM, Blogger Dr. Phat Tony said...

Hey You all love the Caulk I know it.

At 7:07 AM, Blogger spacemonkey said...

The Caulk of the Wild


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