Thursday, December 08, 2005

Tidbit Advice

Over the years, through both experience and observation, I’ve come across some helpful advice or thoughts that everyone should look at.

  • Never lecture a subordinate about the importance of attention to detail with your fly open.

  • Kids will believe anything. Put this to a test as often as possible.

  • If it looks like a static line and smells like a ham slice; you’re dehydrated.

  • I make more money per hour take home working 123 hours than I do working 178.5 hours.

  • No matter how good she looks; there is some guy who is tired of putting up with her crap.

  • “It is better to ask for forgiveness, than ask for permission” is only good advice for know-nothing privates.

  • If you don’t believe in an after life; what’s the purpose of being a good person?

  • The world was here a long time before me and it will be here a long time after I’m gone. I’m not so vain that I think that I can destroy it.

  • If a woman wrote her name in the snow, would it look like Olympic gymnastic floor exercises only naked?

  • There are a lot of things you should never do against the wind. There are also a lot of things you should not stand down wind from.

  • I got a fortune cookie shortly before I started all my overtime work. It said “Wealth belongs to those who create it.” This could not have been written by the Chinese government, or even the Democrats within our own government.
  • Most of the things I regret doing were a lot of fun to do.

  • Skinny dipping is only a good idea for men when the water is warm.

  • Two tortoises having sex sounds like someone knocking on the front door for hours. (No joke, Will witnessed it in Kosovo)

  • I never speak about politics or religion with people I just meet, but they always want to speak to me about them.

  • Nose hairs probably have a tensile strength that surpasses anything else on earth.

I might think of some more, but tell me how you like the ones I have down already.

8 Comments:

At 11:25 AM, Blogger The Conservative UAW Guy said...

Let me be the FIRST! to say that those were quite profound, Doc!

Keep 'em coming!!

 
At 11:43 AM, Blogger Contagion said...

I use the saying, "It's EASIER to ask forgiveness, then permission" when ever I want to do something I know my wife won't approve of.

 
At 12:07 PM, Blogger David N. Scott said...

Funny...

 
At 12:08 PM, Anonymous Ssssteve said...

Knock Knock
Who's There?

Two Turtles! Ha HA I kill myself!!

 
At 12:36 PM, Blogger Contagion said...

Tag you're it. You asked for link love.

http://miasmaticreview.mu.nu/archives/cat_annoying_memes.php

 
At 3:50 PM, Blogger Uber said...

Great funny, keep um coming!

"If a woman wrote her name in the snow..."

The only thing funnier than that is the fact that you thought to wonder. lol

 
At 4:03 PM, Blogger Wyatt Earp said...

Kids DO believe anything. I tell them that I'm a good cop and a GREAT blogger.

 
At 5:00 AM, Blogger PoP said...

How long can this car coast? HA HA HA. inside joke. He may explain.

 

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