Hamas Passes Conservation Bill
The new Hamas majority government of Palestine wasted no time in passing its first bill. The first legislation passed was a conservation bill hoping to improve the decreasing numbers of a national resource.
Imnoin Mahmoud, the elected official who introduced the bill, says, “For too long Palestinian Government has been neglecting the conservation of one our most beloved resources. Our rocks have been squandered and now were to the point of only having small pebbles to throw at each other and the Israelis.” He added, “A conservation program is the only way we can grow the population of adult rocks and possibly regain the numbers of years ago. Allah Akbar.”
Bei Aingeo, the geologist that helped draft the conservation program, explained the details. He said, “It takes many years for a rock to become a mature rock. We have just been pillaging the normal supply for too long. I’m hoping that by reintroducing rocks in some of the more decimated areas, like the Gaza strip and the Government building, that this will encourage the population of rocks, so that we can again have something substantial to hurl. Jihad! Jihad!”
Another part of this bill is to instruct children on the proper handling of rocks, so that when they become adults the cycle of waste will stop. Imnoin Mahmoud said, “We are starting to teach children the importance of our local rock population and the best way to conserve this wonderful resource. We have started a baseball program that should help them with their aim. This should reduce the amount of rocks we have to throw before we get mowed down by tank fire. Allah be praised and I hate Jews. Jihad!”
Precision Guided Humor Assignment. (But I wrote this way early)