Friday, January 27, 2006

Hamas Passes Conservation Bill


The new Hamas majority government of Palestine wasted no time in passing its first bill. The first legislation passed was a conservation bill hoping to improve the decreasing numbers of a national resource.

Imnoin Mahmoud, the elected official who introduced the bill, says, “For too long Palestinian Government has been neglecting the conservation of one our most beloved resources. Our rocks have been squandered and now were to the point of only having small pebbles to throw at each other and the Israelis.” He added, “A conservation program is the only way we can grow the population of adult rocks and possibly regain the numbers of years ago. Allah Akbar.”

Bei Aingeo, the geologist that helped draft the conservation program, explained the details. He said, “It takes many years for a rock to become a mature rock. We have just been pillaging the normal supply for too long. I’m hoping that by reintroducing rocks in some of the more decimated areas, like the Gaza strip and the Government building, that this will encourage the population of rocks, so that we can again have something substantial to hurl. Jihad! Jihad!”

Another part of this bill is to instruct children on the proper handling of rocks, so that when they become adults the cycle of waste will stop. Imnoin Mahmoud said, “We are starting to teach children the importance of our local rock population and the best way to conserve this wonderful resource. We have started a baseball program that should help them with their aim. This should reduce the amount of rocks we have to throw before we get mowed down by tank fire. Allah be praised and I hate Jews. Jihad!”


Precision Guided Humor Assignment. (But I wrote this way early)

14 Comments:

At 2:39 PM, Blogger Tyler D. said...

Well, they can't have my rocks.

*Sticks tongue out*

 
At 5:10 PM, Blogger Cove Rebel said...

They can have my rocks when they pry them from my cold dead fingers!



Wait...that just doesn't sound right for some reason...

 
At 5:21 PM, Blogger a4g said...

This post would make a great comment.

 
At 10:01 PM, Anonymous Mom said...

I liked that Bei Aingeo.. B-i-n-g-o the geologist! etc... lol

 
At 7:00 PM, Blogger The Anti-Hippie said...

Heh. Splodey-tards practicing "conservation."

 
At 12:24 AM, Anonymous megabrad said...

That is classic.

 
At 11:00 AM, Blogger Insolublog said...

I am sure the government of Israel would be happy to donate a suitable substitute, such as a generous supply of concrete bomb rubble.

 
At 5:04 PM, Blogger Morris said...

Why don't they just use the rocks in their head? That will keep them going for a decade or two...

 
At 4:49 AM, Blogger PoP said...

Acording to Nibblet the correct pronunciation. is B I Engine O, but lets not quible. the loss of habitat is a major reason the rocks are not as plentifull. concrete has replaced their breeding ground.

 
At 5:03 AM, Blogger PoP said...

I would like to suggest a selective breeding program of small rocks and cement to produce a hybred called concrete they have removed the large rocks from the gene pool thus creating a stunted rock. A possible recycling of rocks thrown into isral could be reintroduced by dropping large quantities of large rocks from Israli plans could be a solution. One of my lucid moments.

 
At 7:16 AM, Blogger Lyn said...

Congratulations! You've been nominated by Peakah for one of the "Best So Far" Humor Blog Awards, January 2006 at Bloggin' Outloud - http://blogginoutloud.blogspot.c...log- awards.html
Please feel free to participate, nominate, and spread the word. Thanks! Lyn from FBO

 
At 7:17 AM, Blogger Lyn said...

Sorry...
http://blogginoutloud.blogspot.com/2006/02/best-so-far-blog-awards.html

 
At 8:07 AM, Blogger Dr. Phat Tony said...

Heh I'm nominated. Would that make Peakah the NomiNATOR?

 
At 8:32 AM, Blogger The Conservative UAW Guy said...

*sniff*
Morris stole my comment...

Well done, Doc!
(As usual!!!)

 

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