Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Helping the Ladies


Last week I gave some advice for the guys on how to make sure their love interest had a good Valentine’s Day. Basically women want lots of stuff. Today I’m going to help out the women. I think it’s only fair to lend my genius to help make sure that all my female readers make a memorable Valentines Day for their husbands or boyfriends. So here are some great Valentine’s Day suggestions.

• Don’t talk so much. There once was a time when your man would sit for hours without having any conversation at all. Let him revisit those times, if just for one evening.

• Remember that thing you used to do, but don’t do as much anymore, if at all? Do that for him.

• Try making him a sandwich, and then deliver the sandwich while being naked. Do not make the sandwich while being naked. That’s just unsanitary.

• Make it a no problem Valentine’s Day. If there is something on your mind, which might be construed as nagging, just hold off on discussing it until tomorrow. Give him just one evening of peace would ya.

• You know that annoying thing that your husband/boyfriend does that really sets you off? Let him do that and don’t reprimand him.

• Try to avoid questions like these: Are you almost done in there? How many are you going to drink tonight? Didn’t you just eat dinner? Do we have to? Didn’t we just do this a few nights ago?

I think you get the idea. Notice that all these gifts cost nothing and your husband/boyfriend will love them and love you more by proxy. Good luck ladies let me know how it turns out.

17 Comments:

At 5:41 AM, Blogger Contagion said...

What about bringing a female "friend" home to play?

 
At 6:19 AM, Anonymous Scouser said...

If he suggests oral, don't whine, just get on and do it.
If he's watching something on TV, Don't talk until programme has finished, not even during the breaks when he will be contemplating the next session.
If his glass/can is empty, get him a refill.
If he suggests oral, don't whine, just get on and do it. I repeated this as it need emphasising.

 
At 7:02 AM, Blogger Cove Rebel said...

She can make MY Valentines Day great by saying, "Oh its OK if you didn't get me anything. Valentines Day is a stupid made-up holiday anyway."

 
At 7:09 AM, Blogger The Conservative UAW Guy said...

Ooops!
Didn't mean to gank your post from days past.
I will credit you as soon as I have a chance (it is down now).
Many apologies!!!

 
At 7:09 AM, Blogger Dr. Phat Tony said...

I just had a deja vu moment.

 
At 8:26 AM, Blogger The Conservative UAW Guy said...

I hang my head in shame.
I have pimped your swag shamelessly for penance.
Again, many apologies...

 
At 8:30 AM, Blogger Dr. Phat Tony said...

I thought it was funny. I've never had the honor of being plagarized befor.

 
At 8:47 AM, Blogger PoP said...

Take your husband / boyfriend fishing. ( Bait his Hook ) and open his beers as needed. He will probably put his shoes in the closet for the next month without you having to ask.

 
At 12:48 PM, Blogger Pebble said...

And visa/versa!

 
At 12:52 PM, Blogger Ssssteve said...

Doc, have you noticed that there is no holiday that the women in our life never have to get right? there is no equivalent to valentines for men?! Anniversary?! her birthday?! All the pressure to do right is on the man not the woman. What ever happened to equal rights! I demand equal holidays!!

 
At 12:53 PM, Blogger Dr. Phat Tony said...

I already helped the guys. This one is sugestions for the Ladies.

 
At 1:43 PM, Anonymous armadilloracer said...

look- jewelry is mostly useless to me. it just sits there and looks pretty ..now kitchen equipment, tools, "tires" and such- I'm happy. and I can enjoy doing what I like and keep my special someone happy too.

 
At 1:50 PM, Blogger Dr. Phat Tony said...

And you feel useful, right? That's what I've been saying all along.

 
At 2:19 PM, Anonymous linda said...

Okay, Ssssteve, when you can give birth--we'll talk about equal rights! Until then, deal with it!

 
At 2:25 PM, Blogger Dr. Phat Tony said...

No need to fight I'm here to help. Marriage counceling anyone? Because the Dr. is fake I'll only charge half of what a real Dr. would charge.

 
At 7:09 PM, Blogger Uber said...

Pop- Translated that means call him a sissy girly boy while baiting his hook and shake all the beer up before handing it to him to open so you "don't break a nail". haha

I dun good, Doc. I was too busy singin' "buy me stuff, lots and lots of stuff!" to nag. :)

 
At 11:24 AM, Blogger Assorted Babble by Suzie said...

Thought I would say hello...Interesting suggestions...humm wonder how many women followed it to the letter. (LOL)

Been meaning to drop by...saw this post link at CP's last week and you on jimmyb's blogroll.

Hilarious!!....Being Single...of course and older...already learned these for barter. (LOL) It is amazing what a little sugar will do.

 

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