Texas Hunting Code (Updated & Revised)
Bill to Regulate the Hunting and Harvesting of Attorneys
370.01 Any person with a valid in-state rodent or
snake hunting license may also hunt and harvest
attorneys for recreational and sport (non-commercial)
370.02 Taking of attorneys with traps or deadfalls is
permitted. The use of United States currency as bait,
however, is prohibited.
370.03 Stuffed or mounted attorneys must have a state
health department inspection for rabies, and vermin.
370.04 The willful killing of attorneys with a motor
vehicle is prohibited, unless such vehicle is an
ambulance being driven in reverse. If an attorney is
accidentally struck by a motor vehicle, the dead
attorney should be removed to the roadside, and the
vehicle should proceed immediately to the nearest car
370.05 It is unlawful to chase, herd or harvest
attorneys from a power boat, helicopter or aircraft.
370.06 It is unlawful to shout, "WHIPLASH",
"AMBULANCE", or "FREE SCOTCH" for the purposes of
370.07 It is unlawful to hunt attorneys within 100
yards of BMW, Mercedes or Porsche dealerships, except
on Wednesday afternoon.
370.08 It is unlawful to hunt attorneys within 200
yards of courtrooms, law libraries, health clubs,
country clubs, hospitals or brothels.
370.09 If an attorney gains elective office, it is not
necessary to have a license to hunt, trap or possess
370.10 It is unlawful for a hunter to wear a disguise
as a reporter, drug dealer, pimp, female legal clerk,
sheep, accident victim, bookie, physician,
chiropractor or tax accountant for the purpose of
370.11 Bag and Possession Limits per day:
Yellow-bellied sidewinders, 2;
Two-faced tortfeasors, 1;
Back-stabbing divorce litigators, 3;
Horn-rimmed cut-throats, 2;
Minutiae-advocating dirtbags, 4.
Honest attorneys, PROTECTED (See, Endangered Species Act).
H/T Cove Rebel