Wednesday, February 15, 2006

Visit San Francisco


After hearing Gerardo Sandoval say he doesn’t want the U.S. to have a military and hearing that the voters in San Fran made it illegal for city residents to own a hand gun, I’ve decided that they’re going to need some help with tourism. I’m going to give it my best shot.



Attention all Criminals:

Are you tired of wondering whether the person you are about to mug has a weapon? Are you constantly worried about getting shot while robbing a person’s home? Have you thought twice about raping a woman for fear she might be packing heat? Is murdering some one more of a chore when they are armed? Well worry no more! Lovely San Francisco should be the destination for your next vacation.

San Francisco has many amenities for criminals. They have the most liberal judges, the most cowardice citizens, and it’s easy to blend in and hide with the local homeless population. As an added bonus, if you claim that you are homeless, we will make sure you get a monthly stipend and food stamps so that you won’t have to spend your easily stolen money on anything but luxuries. So come visit San Francisco, a criminal's first choice for vacation.



This advertisement was brought to you by the Send the Criminals to San Fran Coalition.

18 Comments:

At 6:40 AM, Blogger Contagion said...

So San Fran has joined Chicago on banning firearms in city limits. I guess what they don't realize is that most of the handguns criminals own/use were illegally obtained in the first place.

I'm more curious as to how they are going to enforce turning in the firearms. Will there be a mass fleeing of San Fran by legal gun owners like there was in Chicago?

 
At 7:59 AM, Anonymous linda said...

You are a prince among princes!

 
At 8:35 AM, Anonymous Daniel said...

When the ban starts being enforced April 1st, I predict the city of Oakland will have invaded by April 2nd.

Contagion, accord to the proposition H that was passed to ban firearms in the city limits of San Fran, they have to turn in their guns to the police or sell them to a licensed FFL by April 1st.

 
At 8:38 AM, Blogger Dr. Phat Tony said...

Could be a horrible April fools day joke.

 
At 8:40 AM, Blogger The Conservative UAW Guy said...

Sadly, as funny as this post is Doc, it is not far from reality at all....

Nice job, as always.

I'll wait at least a year before I steal this one! ;)

 
At 8:51 AM, Blogger Ssssteve said...

This is going to be fun watching and laughing at all the idiots that live in San Fran!! What a bunch of morons!!

 
At 8:53 AM, Blogger Contagion said...

But what if the gun owners DON'T turn them in or sell them to a FFL dealer? How are they going to enforce it? I wouldn't want to be the cop that has to go to some guys house on April 2nd to collect.

 
At 9:21 AM, Blogger Daniel Levesque said...

Good ad. When can we expect to start seeing it on billboards?

www.ravingconservative.com

 
At 9:21 AM, Anonymous Daniel said...

Well in LaLa Land (otherwise known as San Francisco) nobody will want to break the law and will magically every gun owner, legal or illegal firearm will be turned thus transforming San Fran into a magical utopia, where peace and love runs rampant and crime will cease to happen. In reality though, the BART trains that run from Oakland to San Fran will be full of unsavory characters ready to do bad things to the defenseless citizens of San Fran, becaues we know the cops can't be everywhere at once.

 
At 9:36 AM, Blogger Uber said...

Perfection. Now all you need is an infomercial pimping "San Fran homeless get-ups in a box".

You'll be rich!

Hey, I saw some ripped homeless clothing going for as much as 80 bucks per article in the mall.

 
At 9:43 AM, Blogger Dr. Phat Tony said...

I've solved the homeless problem. I just haven't unvieled my grand scheme yet.

 
At 10:19 AM, Blogger The Conservative UAW Guy said...

Does your plan dovetail with my plan about burning hippies to solve the energy crisis?

 
At 11:15 AM, Anonymous Daniel said...

I don't think San Fran has banned tasers YET!!! Better not give them any ideas either though, because as we all know, they only kill minorities and drug addicts.

 
At 6:48 PM, Blogger The Anti-Hippie said...

Let's put your idea and jimmyb's together... San Fran could power the US for a good year with all their hippies!

 
At 7:34 PM, Blogger a4g said...

Don't forget that after a fun night of armed robbery, San Francisco offers literally hours and hours and hours and hours of punishing back door lovin' for the especially discriminating criminal.

 
At 9:25 PM, Anonymous B-Cack said...

Is it just me or is that damn San Fernando fault just taking to much time dropping most of California off into the ocean? I wonder how many times that fuckstick has seen Brokedick... I mean Brokeback mountain? I wonder why Clint Eastwood hasn't just gone on a shooting spree yet?

 
At 7:14 AM, Blogger Dr. Phat Tony said...

I think you mean san andreas.

 
At 8:48 AM, Blogger Insolublog said...

Now would be a good time to leverage that fresh new conservative SCOTUS goodness. We need to establishing some solid 'stare decisis' on second amendment rights.

( Not that I wouldn't be entertained by some twinkle-toed cop, trying to pull the heater out of the hands of a retired marine )

 

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