Visit San Francisco
After hearing Gerardo Sandoval say he doesn’t want the U.S. to have a military and hearing that the voters in San Fran made it illegal for city residents to own a hand gun, I’ve decided that they’re going to need some help with tourism. I’m going to give it my best shot.
Attention all Criminals:
Are you tired of wondering whether the person you are about to mug has a weapon? Are you constantly worried about getting shot while robbing a person’s home? Have you thought twice about raping a woman for fear she might be packing heat? Is murdering some one more of a chore when they are armed? Well worry no more! Lovely San Francisco should be the destination for your next vacation.
San Francisco has many amenities for criminals. They have the most liberal judges, the most cowardice citizens, and it’s easy to blend in and hide with the local homeless population. As an added bonus, if you claim that you are homeless, we will make sure you get a monthly stipend and food stamps so that you won’t have to spend your easily stolen money on anything but luxuries. So come visit San Francisco, a criminal's first choice for vacation.
This advertisement was brought to you by the Send the Criminals to San Fran Coalition.