Wednesday, March 22, 2006

Jill Offers to Save Jill


I received an email from a possible savior to our favorite white goat. Jill has found hope in the form of Jill (the non-goat). I do hope Jill (the non-goat) decides to Save Jill.

I’ve edited the curse word, so that it sounds funny.

Okay Tony,
This is Jill
and I can truly say I can't frickin believe you could ever hurt that sweet, innocent goat named Jill. (What's that about?!?!?) If you don't come up with the funds in time to save Jill, PLEASE let me know!!!! We'll pay the money to have her spared and even to ship her over here. I hope to God it's a joke, but if not, please wicky wacky listen to me!!


Of course I responded.

Dear Jill (the non-goat),
Thank you for your enterest in Saving Jill. Your request to buy Jill is being considered. Correspondence will resume after careful deliberation. I also truly hope that Jill will be saved, but hope doesn't pay the bills and Jill is my ticket to financial stability. Jill's price is set (see article Save Jill) and that price was carefully picked out to enable me and my better half to gain the ability to start our own family (currently have no children). Without this money it would take years for us to pay off existing debt, and we would like to have a kid (non-goat) before I need a walker to go to little league games. I am open to hear your offer.
Sincerely,
Dr. Phat Tony

Of course, things at casa de Phat Tony aren't that bad. The money won't make or break me, but it will Save Jill.

14 Comments:

At 7:33 PM, Blogger Tyler D. said...

FIRST!


...

I got nothing.

 
At 8:09 PM, Blogger Wyatt Earp said...

Let her save Jill . . . but raise the ransom to $10,000. And, of course, cut me in for giving you the idea.

 
At 8:20 PM, Blogger Dr. Phat Tony said...

The price was set at $16,000. I think you might be a little behind the power curve.

 
At 9:14 PM, Blogger The Anti-Hippie said...

I wonder how much you could get out of this hippy to not eat Jill... Start your kid a nice college fund, maybe. Or get that second car.

 
At 9:55 PM, Anonymous linda said...

This can't be all you've gotten! I thought you'd attract more hate than this!

 
At 7:12 AM, Blogger fmragtops said...

I'm with Linda. I can't believe this is the only moonbat. I figgured the hippys would have stormed your blog by now to appease your murderous rage.

 
At 8:45 AM, Blogger Wyatt Earp said...

Doc - She's a hippy chick. Like she can scrounge up $16,000. I figured she could whore herself for the ten grand.

 
At 11:08 AM, Anonymous Kath said...

Haha, classy

 
At 3:05 AM, Blogger SeanS said...

LOL, DPT you are sadistic and that's what makes you great.

 
At 6:36 AM, Blogger The Conservative UAW Guy said...

I do appreciate sincere sadism myself...

 
At 6:39 AM, Blogger Insolublog said...

So, you will not have to pay for Jill's (the goat) upkeep if Jill (the goat herder) buys her. Don't you think you should consider a price break on the cost for shelter and consumables? Such as Wyatt's 10k figure? I know you are giving up a potentially sumptuous lamb dinner here, but, well you know...

 
At 3:55 PM, Blogger Uber said...

Can't tell you just how tempted I am to drop a 'Save Jill' link or two on a few moonbat websites.

On behalf of poor Jill, of course. haha

 
At 5:46 AM, Blogger The Conservative UAW Guy said...

Helloooooo?

 
At 8:20 AM, Blogger Dr. Phat Tony said...

Hold out till lunchtime I've got a Jill update.

 

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