Jill Offers to Save Jill
I received an email from a possible savior to our favorite white goat. Jill has found hope in the form of Jill (the non-goat). I do hope Jill (the non-goat) decides to Save Jill.
I’ve edited the curse word, so that it sounds funny.
This is Jill
and I can truly say I can't frickin believe you could ever hurt that sweet, innocent goat named Jill. (What's that about?!?!?) If you don't come up with the funds in time to save Jill, PLEASE let me know!!!! We'll pay the money to have her spared and even to ship her over here. I hope to God it's a joke, but if not, please wicky wacky listen to me!!
Of course I responded.
Dear Jill (the non-goat),
Thank you for your enterest in Saving Jill. Your request to buy Jill is being considered. Correspondence will resume after careful deliberation. I also truly hope that Jill will be saved, but hope doesn't pay the bills and Jill is my ticket to financial stability. Jill's price is set (see article Save Jill) and that price was carefully picked out to enable me and my better half to gain the ability to start our own family (currently have no children). Without this money it would take years for us to pay off existing debt, and we would like to have a kid (non-goat) before I need a walker to go to little league games. I am open to hear your offer.
Dr. Phat Tony
Of course, things at casa de Phat Tony aren't that bad. The money won't make or break me, but it will Save Jill.