Thursday, March 02, 2006

Kill Jill Vol. 1 Questions and Answers

I received quite a bit of interest in my Save Jill project yesterday, but I think I need to clear up some things. Some of you may think I’m joking and there are some other questions that may need to be answered. I’ll try to answer all the questions but if I leave some out just ask them in the comment section.

Q: You can’t be serious. This is a joke right? You’re not really going to kill Jill, are you?

A: I’m serious. Yes, I own Jill. Yes, on March 15 2007 Sept 15 2006, if Jill hasn’t raised the money specified in Save Jill she’ll be dead and well on her way to being dinner. Here is another picture of Jill. It looks like she wants to go play in the field.


Q: This can’t be legal. Isn’t this extortion?

A: Of course it’s legal. Jill is my property. Extortion would be if I threatened someone else’s goat.

Q: Isn’t this cruelty to animals? That wouldn’t be legal.

A: I’m not being cruel to Jill. Jill is having a wonderful time being a young goat as of right now. I’m going to kill her quite humanely. I’ll put a bullet through the base of her skull and sever the brain stem. She won’t even hear the shot.

Q: This is just a scam right? You’re trying to do the same thing as that Save Toby guy.

A: No it’s not a scam. That Save Toby guy went to a pet shop and picked up a bunny. He wasn’t even going to butcher Toby on his own. I doubt he ate it. I wouldn’t eat that rabbit; it looked to be mostly fat. Jill on the other hand will make one tasty dinner for a few people.

Q: Can I help save Jill besides donating money?

A: Sure. Here is a picture for Save Jill. Put it on your sight and have it linked to the donation page or the Save Jill article.

Q: Can I buy Jill from you to keep you from eating her?

A: The price is set at $16000. If there is a one time donor for all the marbles and they want to keep Jill. They can have her, but then I can't promise that Jill would have a long life.

Q: What if Jill makes $15999? Will she still be ate?

A: I’ll ask around to people I know to donate a dollar, before I put a bullet in her head. If no one can come up with the last buck; Jill is f**ked (shot in the head, you perverts).
Q: Do you really think Jill will be saved?

A: As of right now; things aren’t looking good for Jill. Not one dollar has been donated to keep Jill alive yet. It’s still early in the game though. So get out there and Save Jill.
Save Jill!

21 Comments:

At 9:38 AM, Anonymous FIAR said...

FIRST! of all. I would much prefer to bid on the rights to eat Jill myself. You need a better scheme. This will never make money with all your meat eater lovin' readers.

 
At 9:57 AM, Blogger PoP said...

I need some cudzu and some poison ivy removed, but $16000 is just a little steep when I can buy my own for about $30 . only out of the goodness of my heart I'll give you the first dollar when I see you tonight. Unless some one donates first.

 
At 9:58 AM, Blogger PoP said...

Oh and you have to take the cat.

 
At 10:18 AM, Anonymous linda said...

Good for you, Pop!

 
At 10:20 AM, Blogger Dr. Phat Tony said...

Jill is only for the purpose of raisng money for being cute or for being dinner. There is nothing else I will permit.

 
At 12:16 PM, Blogger fmragtops said...

Not that this is a democracy, but I kind of agree with Fitch. I'm more interested in how a goat tastes than paying for it not to be eaten. I'm all for eating tasty animals, deer, duck, fish, cows, etc. Maybe you need to advertise at KOS or something.

 
At 1:09 PM, Anonymous Lil' B-Cack said...

So are you going to grill Jill or bake her in the oven? May I suggest grilling with a scrumptios lemon pepper marinade? Possibly a garden salad on the side?

 
At 1:39 PM, Blogger Dr. Phat Tony said...

It's going to be a party. If Jill doesn't earn her life, we might have to butcher two goats to fead everyone that comes.

 
At 1:40 PM, Blogger Dr. Phat Tony said...

Sorry change "party" to "memorial service".

 
At 1:54 PM, Blogger Uber said...

I'd definitely donate to save the cute goat (that shares a variation of my own name) if I didn't have other important stuff to save my money for. Like a pool and trees.

Shut up, it gets really hot here! And I need trees to make sure all the baptists can't see me enjoying that pool. haha

 
At 2:37 PM, Blogger Contagion said...

Do we really have to wait a whole year? Goat chili is excellent!

 
At 3:11 PM, Blogger Insolublog said...

Maybe you can get some perverted, sex starved Saudi oil prince to pony up the 16k of scratch to 'save' her from the barbeque spit.

 
At 3:39 PM, Blogger Ssssteve said...

I had something cool to say then read Uber and her pool!! Now I can't think!!!

 
At 3:46 PM, Anonymous FIAR said...

Uber... hot...pool...





What?

 
At 7:36 PM, Blogger Uber said...

Hmmm, maybe I should steal your potential donors for the pool project. bwahaha

 
At 5:33 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I gave Pop a dollar for the save a Jill fund, but then saw him go to the soda machine, so I asked for it back and made my donation online.

DanFan

ps: The Amazon site allows for a for the money to be refunded, so we better save Jill. LOL!

 
At 8:15 AM, Blogger PoP said...

You should never name your next meal. You may become to attached.

 
At 11:30 AM, Blogger Crazy Politico said...

Let's see help Uber with Pool or save the goat.

How much do you need Uber, and can I come swimming with you?

 
At 10:36 PM, Blogger boinky said...

YUM

 
At 11:50 AM, Anonymous moonbatty said...

Hm. I'd donate, but then if you didn't raise the entire amount I'd just have contributed to the "make a neocon happy" fund. And that's a violation of my morality.

Besides, as cute as your goat is, I think I'd be better serving my goals by thinking "cute goat" and donating my money to Winslow Farm in Massachusetts where they actually want to keep the goats alive, and wishing you a good meal.

Jill's cute, hope she's yummy.

 
At 12:37 PM, Blogger Dr. Phat Tony said...

Me too, but I think that taste has everything to do with preparation.

 

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