Save Jill
I would like to introduce to you a new member of the Dr. Phat Tony family. This is Jill. Jill is 3 ½ weeks old, and probably one of the cutest things ever. Unfortunately Jill is in a fight for her life and she doesn’t even know it. I’ve tried to explain the rules of the house to Jill, but I doubt she understands them. There are a few rules at casa de Phat Tony’s. One rule is, you have to be of use to live with me. Unfortunately, as of right now, Jill is only good at eating and pooping. This doesn’t give her any significant use. I have laid down the ultimatum to Jill. Jill is to raise $16,000 or Jill is going to become a wonderful dinner on
I’m sure some of you are thinking I’m cold and callous. You would be right. I have no qualms about putting a bullet through Jill’s head, then butchering her to feed friends and family. You can stop this. Instead of just complaining about how mean I am, put a dollar in a the pot and help keep Jill breathing instead of cooking. You and 16000 of your friends can donate a dollar (or you and 8000 of your friends donating 2 dollars) to keep Jill from becoming a delicious meal. Do I really expect Jill to raise the money? No, I expect Jill to be cooking slowly on
Donate Now To Save Jill
Jill and her mommy.
Update 1
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Update 4
You can also buy Jill Swag now to help Save Jill!
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posted by Dr. Phat Tony @ 6:52 AM
58 comments
58 Comments:
Maaaahaaa!
What time is dinner?!
Mmmmmmm....Jill chops...
hahaha, that's spectacular. I'm a big fan of trying to get people to pay me not to do something.
stay tuned to RHOG, where (if I remember) I will be detailing my plan to get people to pay me not to have three hamsters duel to the death.
Very odd that you would post this just after the post about the man in Afica having to marry his goat! Very odd indeed! Does this goat know something you don't want us to know? Does Jill have your eyes? Hmmmm.......how odd!
I think that was Wyatt that posted the guy marrying the goat.
Well, it's hard to tell one butt-head from the other! HA
You could always send her out trimming the neighbour's lawns for $5 per time, then she can eat & poop & earn money at the same time. She will not be pooping in your house, Win - Win & if she doesn't make enough money you can still eat her, Win - Win - Win. I'm a bit partial to Goat Curry actually. BTW, Big party at my place today, all are welcome to join in.
DPT,
You do live in Al-bama right?? This is a goat right??
GIT-R-DUN!!!!
Jill's cute!!!
Buwahahahahahhahaha!!!!!
You're thinking of Tennessee residents, here we just burn churches for no apparent reason.
I love Indian food, so I'll contribute a few spices n other stuff for a yummy Jill Vindaloo...
No try just do. The goat will be skinned, cleaned, and eatin on that date.
Nice try, Doc.
Happy eatins!
Oh yeah, I thought it was Peakah who had the guy marrying the goat post.
My bad, Doc!!!
Be sure to put some rosemary and sage on Jill while she is cooking... and don't forget the goat gravy!
I could probably come up with a few bucks to reserve a spot at the dinner table.
That will be an option if Jill fails.
I'm coming over. I have this fantastic marinade.
Proud Papa!
;-)
I'd reccomend a brown flour based gravy,
The skin makes great leg warmers on those cold Alabama nights!
Also, remember, garlic-curry lamb is FANTASTIC!
Do I get to come to the "Eat a Tasty Animal for PETA" feast?
I think you could make some money selling tickets for such an event.
If Jill doesn't raise money with her life, she might be able to raise a few bucks as dinner.
This is just a ploy to see if Pam Anderson will show up nekkid on your lawn, isn't it?
No. This is real. I own Jill. I will eat Jill next March if she doesn't raise the money. Serious as I can get.
Phat Tony,
I am interested in your goat meal, I would be lying if I said that I have never dined on such a fine animal, but... I believe you are selling yourself short here man. Think about it: As someone mentioned above, you do live in Bama... did you ever think about starting a web site... "Pimp My Goat" In one years time you could pimp that goat out numerous times and double or perhaps even triple your 16K.... think about it.. and if Jill is ever towards Texas.. uh gimmie a call, I got a twenty that the wife doesn't know about...
P.S. If you make them stand at a cliff they get scared and back up into you... or so I am told..... I gotta go. B-Cack
Beware the Ides of March too
For some reason, I'd rather eat Jill, than save her.
Mmmm. Lamb chops.
I might have to drop in for dinner that night... Maybe bring some Kitten Kabobs!
March 2007, by then the goat will be too old. They taste best at 7-9 months, like lambs do, so I've heard.
The goat farmer assured me that I could kill Jill at a year old and the meat would still taste fine.
I would never have thought you would stoop so low to hold such a cute little animal hostage for ransom. this reeks of Sally Struthers and feed the poor for 50 cents a day tear jerking infomercials. Way to go son.
I've never eaten goat. Is it good?
I've never had it myself, but I'm a big fan of cooked animal flesh.
From the other comments, I believe that you have Catch 22 on your hands.
The best way for the lovely lass (Yeah, I'd go there!. . I've got a little Scottish heritage to back me up) to make the money . . .we in Govment call it funding. . .is to charge per plate. Unfortunately, the thing that will save her is the thing that kills her.
I you patê'd her up, you could make a Lot of Gyros. Lamb Patê could almost give Scrapple a run for it's money.
Tony and Fmragtops, I'm pretty sure while visiting some crappy middle eastern country I ate it, but didn't know it was goat. But since all the meat over there tasted the same, I'll assume it was all goat. It wasn't baaaad... Wait, that's lamb.
When I was in Korea we BBQed a neighboring attachments Mascot goat and invited them to the party. They never knew who they were eating. very tasty. Beer marinade over night.
Oh, Pop! I kinda wish you hadn't shared that!
Pop, you are now my hero.
/salute
You're just SICK dude. Try getting some mental help... Its free...
heh I didn't see your dollar in the pot there lady. I think you just don't want Jill saved.
Will there be some "Kill Jill" swag available
I'm currently working on it.
You may want to check with the pro's over that started Save Toby. They hit the $17,000 dollar mark for a rabbit.
http://urbanlegends.about.com/b/a/146890.htm
You might end up with more moulah if you set up a Kill Jill fund to go against the Save Jill side. Whichever gets the most money wins. Of course, you win ($$$!) either way...
You might end up with more moulah if you set up a Kill Jill fund to go against the Save Jill side. Whichever gets the most money wins. Of course, you win ($$$!) either way...
Snap! Sorry...
I'm thinking about having a Kill Jill T-shirt.
May I suggest some fine hardwood charcoal - not that cheap match-lite stuff, and a good bottle of some dark red wine.
You are going to kill your own kid! Ha ha ha!
It would be unfortunate if it came down to that, but I guess technically you're right.
Jill looks really yummy and um...succulent.
I'm already picturing mint jelly all over her delicious roasted flesh :)
PS - I'm broke so I can't save her.
I'm told that goat cooks a lot like lamb--mustard, garlic, and honey worked really well for that a few times for me. I agree as well about cooking it over hardwood instead of charcoal or propane. Don't forget a bit of salt, too.
This is fucking insane! Are you serious?!?!? What kind of frickin animals are you?!?!? Tony, you are such a nice guy. I am truly sad.
Well now, it seems that you are secretly hoping to BBQ poor Jill anyway, because if you really wanted her to contribute or pull her weight, (so to speak) you would have her out 'mowing' your's and any neighbor's yards, plus, I know people who pay big bucks for goat milk, and or cheese made with goat milk, then there's always the poop end of things, a big old compost pile and then sell it as organic fertalizer... come on Man, THINK here... but NOOOOO You're just thinking of those hot coals, and Jill turning on a spit, roasting to a gorgeous brown, dripping with juices, maybe even a really nice homemade BBQ sauce.... ummm will there be corn on the cob too? BIG HUGS, Steph
Screw her, start stoking the coals... I love tender little lambs over a grill.
Notice I said lamb
at that age there is no difference in the taste, well to me at least... or perhaps that is because by the time they are ready to eat I am already sauced?
Oh well who cares, as long as it gets the peta creeps riled up.
After the storms here last Friday night, maybe you should insure Jill for the 15 grand and then let the next storm take care of her for you.
Or just insure her and then eat her and turn in her bones for the money. I like the 2nd idea better. Kinda reminds me of the Cigar song by Brad Paisley. LOL!!
DanFan
Hey Dan Fan,
The Dan Satterfield show was on last Friday Night. He kept me rollin' for hours.
Kitty, no one wants a goat to cut there lawn leaving little land mines all over the place.
Marido,
She will be 8 months old very soon. Those last three weeks will be filled with lots of good oats, corn, molasses, and standing still so that she can marble well.
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