Giving Dap Now Outlawed in Congress

Congresswoman McKinney (D, Georgia) is facing possible prosecution for striking a police officer. The officer stopped McKinney after she passed through a checkpoint with out showing her ID or having her congressional pin on. The officer alleges that Congresswoman McKinney then hit him with her cell phone.

Congresswoman McKinney has released this statement to Dr. Phat Tony’s (which means I’m making it all up):
“I can’t help that the white guard don’t have enough rhythm and coordination to ‘give dap’. The only error I made was to try to show I appreciated the guard by letting him know that I was ‘down’ with the whole security thing. It went just like this. I walked by him, said ‘Yo, what up renta-a-cop?’ then went to give him dap. He started flailing his arms like he didn’t know what he was doing and I accidentally popped him, when all I was trying to do was pound knuckles, ya mean?”


The Capital Police have released this statement responding to Congresswoman McKinney’s statement (I made this up too):

“We understand that us white people can only give handshakes and the occasional awkward high five, but I doubt that congresswoman McKinney was trying to give the officer a special handshake. We will investigate this thoroughly and make public our findings as soon as possible. Until this is settled we are asking everyone to not give any special types of handshakes and instead either grasp and pump twice or just give a nod.”