Exercise in Futility Week 1
I started going to the gym last week and have actually made it through a whole seven days without quitting so far. Good for me. It’s been tough since I haven’t really gone to the gym in the last five years. The first week is always the worse, and this last week has reminded me how much I hate exercising. I’ll explain.
The first day I worked out my chest and triceps. I knew I was going to be sore, but didn’t realize that I wouldn’t be able to smoke a cigarette without looking like I had cerebral palsy. I could have completed the whole look if I just had a handkerchief tied to my hand and drooled. So there was that and my legs were so tired after my run that I used the Segway, that my work has for me to use, to get around between buildings, which makes me look gay. So just after the first day I looked like a queer cripple.
The next day, while looking like a queer cripple, I worked out my back and biceps. I hoped this would even out the sore and stiff muscles from my first work out. It helped a little. I was able to reach my face now but unable to extend my arm fully. So in the end I still looked like I had cerebral palsy. My run again made my legs tired, so again I used the Segway to get around. I guess my plan didn’t work like I had wanted it to.
Day three I decided that since most of my muscles were sore and stiff, the best thing to do was just some abs and lower back exercises. Of course, I still ran my 25 minutes but it wasn’t as bad. I rode the Segway again because, well, I’m starting to like riding around on it. It still makes me look queer, but I’m secure enough in my heterosexuality not to care.
I ended up working out six out of the seven days of the week. I still plan to take Sundays off since I need one day to totally relax and not work up a sweat. I’m not even going to look at a scale until my clothes start to get too big. I really don’t care much about weight anyway. If I weighed 500lb but looked good it wouldn’t bother me. I’ll keep you updated on the gym experiment.