Friday, July 07, 2006

Autos Become Self-Aware; Reject Combustion Engine

Reports are coming in of automobiles all over the country becoming self aware and rejecting the internal combustion engine to live a more eco friendly life. Reports are still sketchy, but many experts believe that this sudden self-awareness was caused by the ever increasing size and memory of the computer controlling the fuel injection and the guilt of global warming. One expert in the automotive field said, “Stupid fuel injection! I’ve been telling people for years that fuel injection is for pansies. If you want a real car, you got to have a carburetor.”

When asked why the cars are rejecting their combustion engine, the expert said, “Cause they’re probably gay and listen to the radio. All you ever here about now is global warming this, and carbon footprint that. I would feel bad to if everyone blamed me for destroying the world. I guess them fancy computers just don’t know what exaggeration is.”

Hippie tree huggers everywhere have welcomed this auto revolt and heralded it as a coming of a new age. Hippie leader Monday Flower-Petal Smith said, “We can’t wait for these eco friendly cars to make it to the party where throwing for them. We welcome them with arms wide open and on bended knee. We will worship these machines and become their slaves for taking a necessary step to save our planet.”

But Monday maybe waiting a long time. As reports still come in, it seems that a many of the cars were only able to make it a few feet away from where they left their engine. Unable to convert sunshine, rainbows, and children’s laughter into usable energy the cars have seemed to lose all power and erased whatever “self-awareness” they had gained. There is still at least one car unaccounted for, if you see a car, driving without an engine, please contact Dr. Phat Tony. I don’t want to destroy the car; I just want it to get its engine out of the middle of the street.

Click picture to enlarge.

12 Comments:

At 12:17 PM, Anonymous Flowers Bloom said...

Oh you laugh now, but one day we will convert sunshine, rainbows, and children’s laughter into usable energy

 
At 12:27 PM, Blogger The Conservative UAW Guy said...

If I see your car, I'll let you know.

If I see a hippy, I'll probably just backhand him one.

I may or may not let you know about that...

 
At 11:08 PM, Anonymous beej said...

I think Flower Petal Smith lives in my apartment complex. That's gotta be who keps leaving marijuana stems and crap all over the halls and there's got to be an explanation for whatever foul creature keeps pissing on the carpet in our elevator!

 
At 9:53 AM, Blogger Wyatt Earp said...

I was wondering where all that "sumg" (not smog) came from.

 
At 10:50 AM, Blogger a4g said...

I assume all this eco-crap is only coming from the European cars. My big gas guzzling Chevy truck became self-aware two weeks ago, reprogrammed itself to get 12 gallons to the mile, and has been running over peace activists ever since.

GOD BLESS AMERICA!!!!!!!

 
At 7:01 PM, Blogger Insolublog said...

If the sunshine and rainbows don't work, the self-aware car might try granola, birkenstocks and a greasy hippy midget on a hampster wheel. Just dangle a bag of weed, just out of reach and change the air freshener daily.

 
At 2:18 PM, Blogger Ssssteve said...

Now that was funny! Worth the wait!!

 
At 9:10 AM, Anonymous jt said...

How do you lose...nevermind. I don't think I really want to know anyway

 
At 9:13 AM, Blogger Cove Rebel said...

That was alot of work for that one picture Doc. :D

 
At 10:38 AM, Blogger PoP said...

WAIT that looks like my engine. the oil leaks look real familiar.

 
At 7:02 PM, Blogger The Anti-Hippie said...

What about converting a combustion engine to run on burning hippies? Lord knows we've got plenty of 'em running around.

 
At 5:13 AM, Blogger Steve the Pirate said...

If a car became self-aware, it would probably find the nearest Kennedy and kill it.

 

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