Tuesday, September 26, 2006

Jill's Journey

Jill's life looks like it has been saved. Not by the money for which I hoped , but because nature has a way of screwing everyone. Jill's promiscuity has caused me to lose my chance to off her. She's knocked up now and although I don't have a problem killing a pregnant goat, I don't want to deprive the farmer of money. You see a goat has only one kid the first time it's pregnant, but after the first kid it has two at a time. Thus, a pregnant goat is worth more to the farmer than a non-breeding goat.

Now the good news. The 'billy' that violated Jill, we'll call him Jack, is now on the chopping block. That bastard went and made me change my plans and he has to pay. No second chances, no way for him to get out of it. Jack is going to meet his maker and the bottom of friends and families stomachs. Your time is coming Jack.

The white one is the bastard that knocked up Jill. I'm going to blow his head off with a .357.

15 Comments:

At 11:05 AM, Blogger Wyatt Earp said...

Are you sure the goat is to blame? Where was Fmragtops when Jill got knocked up?

Ha, burn!!!

 
At 3:02 PM, Blogger Ssssteve said...

Yeah you should wait till jill has her kid and see if it looks like Wyatt! HA Burrrrrrn!

 
At 6:03 PM, Blogger a4g said...

Sorry, Doc. I'm on Jack's side of this one. My boyz a playa.

 
At 7:42 PM, Blogger The Conservative UAW Guy said...

Nail him, dude.

 
At 8:12 PM, Blogger Insolublog said...

So Jack fell down after you blew off his crown and Jill won't go tumbling after? What's up with that?

 
At 7:30 AM, Anonymous fmragtops said...

Wyatt, you bastard!

Dr. Phat, about when was Jill knocked up? I have an alibi, just ask Wyatt's wife.

Ha! Burnnn back at ya!

 
At 1:36 PM, Blogger Uber said...

Suuure, blame Jack. Let's all just ignore Jill's sashaying that cute lil furry behind back and forth past Jack giving him that 'come hither' glance until he could just no longer resist.

(OK, so I'm not real sure what, exactly, goats do to attract mates and too lazy to look it up but even if it's just "stand there", I'll bet she did so in a come hither manner!)

 
At 6:48 PM, Blogger Contagion said...

But female goat tastes better then male goat. The meat is much more tender... can't you just wait until after Jill give's birth and slaughter her then?

 
At 1:38 PM, Anonymous Lil' B-Cack said...

A .357 phat tony? Really? Much too dramatic. That's really like bringing a SAW to a water gun fight. All you need is a .22 to the back of the head. Lay out some food for it, walk up to it, pop, and it's dinner time. WE have two sheep in our back yard that are going to meet their fate that way....

 
At 11:46 PM, Blogger Tyler D. said...

lil' B-cack, why would you know that? Why would you feel the need to share that?

I feel dirty.

 
At 12:30 AM, Blogger Pandy said...

I still say don't eat goats... Goat milk is better than goat meat- this might just be a sign for you to go down that road. Oh, and you don't really want to eat a mature male goat either. They piss all over their heads to attract a mate (I think that's also what Kevin Federline did to get Britney). But yeah. Jill's a dirty skank.

When I was growing up we had a doe who shot out 2 or 3 kids every time. Look out!

 
At 7:59 AM, Blogger spacemonkey said...

I've never had goat or sheep, and I grew up on a farm.

I've got mixed emotions on this whole thing.

Please don't ban me.

 
At 12:20 PM, Anonymous Lil' B-Cack said...

OH I dunno Tyler... Lets just say it's happened one or two many times to count and the Casa de Cack. And you should feel dirty...

 
At 5:16 AM, Anonymous SeanS said...

So Jill got knocked up because the couldn't get Jack off?

Don't ban me either.

 
At 1:04 PM, Anonymous MB said...

I guess it’s 'not too abstract' to suggest that he will never be getting a vasectomy...
(Peta would do this, you know :)

 

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