Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Bail Me Out

Dear Mr. President,

All though I didin’t vote for you and I think this bailout is an abortion of economic policy, I know opportunity when I see it. Since you’re going to be handing out the earnings of hardworking American’s to companies, organizations, and city and state governments that have done nothing to deserve it, I feel this is the right time to lobby for a bailout of my own. While my debt is small and I have been more responsible with the money I had to budget than all the other entities listed previously, I promise that I will use the money to help stimulate the economy. It’s true that some of the money that I’m asking for will go to pay off previous debt, but the majority of the money will be spent on new products made here in the U.S. and possibly by Americans. I can promise that all the products will be made by Americans since some of the money will be used to build a house. (Those illegal immigrants sure do know how to dry wall and roof a house.) So here is the Plan Mr. President, you will take the earnings of other people that make money, and then give me money that I haven’t earned. The amount should be no less than $300,000.00. This will benefit more people per person than the 2.7 trillion that you are already planning on giving away. What is more is that the measily amount of 300,000 dollars will never even be noticed by the governments already enormous deficit. So in closing Mr. President, just send the check and I will get started stimulating things.
Thanks in advance,

Dr. Phat Tony

6 Comments:

At 10:08 PM, Blogger AJ said...

Ya know, stimulating things can be fun... Though a check to the retards running various companies slowly into the ground is the wrong way to do so.

Good to see you posting. I thought maybe Tyler had gotten his axe out after all.

 
At 5:20 AM, Blogger Dean04Prez said...

This is realy bitter/cynical and not helping. It totaly goes against the national mood of reconciliating and coming together/working together to fix are econocmy which Bush realy screwed up.

 
At 12:25 PM, Blogger Ssssteve said...

DPT,
I'm glad your still around and Tyler didn't hack you to death! HA! I need stimulated too, do you mind if I just cut and past your letter here and put my name on it. of course I will have to change the amount, houses cost alot more out here. HA

 
At 9:29 PM, Anonymous MEGABRAD said...

DPT,
That will NEVER work,... You have to WASTE the money, then that a*&^ole might cut you a check!
;)

 
At 1:13 PM, Blogger Ssssteve said...

DPT,
Howdy, it's been awhile! I hope you and yours are fine! Have a great Thanksgiving and Christmas!

 
At 3:37 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Monika Glennon, Monika Glennon, Monika Glennon

 

Post a Comment

<< Home